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On my days off, i will begin looking for a doctor. I have always been on an antidepressant, for over 20 years. They keep getting upped but not working. Nothing major tho. So, I am not really sure if it is just depression or, i know, I do not even want to say it, but I came to the realization, just maybe. One minute I can be happy, next ,I am miserable. Energetic non stop, and tired next. honestly , i never know how I am going to feel. This is really getting Old, and i am tired of messing up my relationships. I was married for 19 years, but it was not not me who busted the marriage. I lived with an alcoholic, and i always assumed it was me because I blew up ,and just could not handle it. Then I somewhat got a leverage on it. I left my Ex after 19 years, raised two kids,, and have been with a great guy for 7 years now. Unconsciously, i am destroying it. And I need help, or am I just going crazy. I think I am loosing it at times.
Posts: 9 | Location: east coast | Registered: 07-28-2006
Your ups and downs and irritability make me think you might need a mood stabilizer instead of or in addition to anti-depressants. I am not a doctor so I can't diagnose this, but I'm glad you are going to find a doctor in order to get to the bottom of it. The right meds should help stabilize your moods and energy levels.
Of course, most drug regimens are not perfect, so we have to look at lifestyle issues as well. Are you getting the rest and excersize you need? By keeping track of your moods in a mood diary, you might be able to track down the influences and do something to change things.
Also, do you have a support group in your area? I find it very helpful to meet with others who have similar experience and knowledge on bipolar issues, since I'm bipolar.
Like Lynne mentioned, give a hard look at your diagnosis and your meds. I was on antidepressants for a while, and they sent me into a mania every time I was on them. This is not uncommon for those with bipolar disorder. Actively ask questions about your diagnosis and find out if your treatment is what you really need. An active role in your treatment can really make a huge difference.
Stay in touch and let us know how things are going!
