Bipolar Depression

hi I need help my wife has bipolar and she will not get help she is very abusive towards me and my three kids I don't want to leave her but I don't think there is any other way.
Can you please help me

I can so feel your pain. I am in the same position that you are. I have been married for over 14 years now and I want so bad to keep my vows, but the abuse is to the point where I don't think we are going to make it.

It is not her abuse to me, as I have been able cope thus far, but the abuse to the kids is horribe to watch.

Please hang in there and know that there is support for you. Here are a couple of questions for you...

Does your wife currently see a professional?

Is she on any current medication (not that this is the answer, but it helps to curb the abuse)

And lastly, how are you doing personally in your own thoughts? It can be very draining being married to a BP.

Again, hang in there. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for your reply it is very hard to deal with it she will not take the pills the doctor gave her and jst keeps getting worse I don't know I think that I am going to break down soon it is very very hard

Hello Husband,

I don't want to sound drastic, but if your wife is being abusive towards you and your kids, you need to get out and move into a separate apartment or home immediately. Once you have gotten yourself into a safe place, you can consider what you want to do for the long term solution. My husband began to be abusive to me and my son, and I had to get away from him; no questions asked. Our very safety and lives depended on this. By moving into your own apartment, it will give you time to think about what your next steps will be.

For my husband and me, it meant that we stayed married, but we did not live together. It meant that we continued to be friends, but we were no longer intimate with each other. I simply could not bring myself to make love to a man who had spit on me, dragged me across the floor by my legs and thrown my head down onto a concrete floor with his bare hands. I was able to forgive him, but I could not forget . . . .

Getting away from your wife, physically, is the best thing you can do right now. You will be able to think more clearly and see the situation in a better light. Trying to make decisions about your future with your wife, while being in the midst of the abusive situation, does not lend itself to making wise decisions.

I am sorry if I seem to be telling you what you should do. Of course, you will do what you feel is best. I am only saying these things because I have been where you are. I know what worked for me, and I think it can work for others. At the very least, it buys you some time.

I wish you the very best in everything that you have to do. You will be in my thoughts and my prayers. . . .

Kay

I agree with what you are saying, but for me the problem is risking the chance that she would get the kids. I don't want them to be out of her life, but they certainly cannot live with her without me being there. I am the one that makes sure they are not being mentally pounded on...if I am not there, God only knows what she is doing to them.

So it is hard. Do the courts allow the kids to live with the father? If not, I will have to stay with her until the kids are grown and out of the house. Then the question has to be asked, will the kids be okay after living with a mentally, emotionally abusive mother?

It is all very sad.

maybe this will help. see you are the abused and and i was the abuser, my wife always kept telling me when i was getting out of hand to eather go for a walk or gave me a task to do to get me off the subject that trigered me. allways stay calm and try to be as kind as posable try to work with the family to get on a schedual,(quality time). Im still having a hard time with it but atleast i Know i have suport from my family and doctors. I shure hope you dont give up on your life together it will work out in the long run BE STRONG