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I posted a few days ago and had a couple of very kind replies. But here i am again, my bp ex-spouse (divorced a month now) is still very much in my life. He comes over to my and my children's rented house to see them 3 or 4 nights a week and every weekend he is here all day. He wanted the divorce, quickly, and then announced he was going to travel across the country to see a woman who used to live here because they have been "talking" for about 9 months now.
He is like the other bp spouses I have been reading about here. The mental crap was hard to deal with. He announces that he has not loved me for 8 years, then he tells me that I am the best thing in the world and how could he have almost ruined it all, then denies ever saying that I was great. Our 17 years of marriage, according to him, was terrible and I never tried anything to show care or concern for him.
My thing is that I love him. I know he has someone else, but I love him and know that somewhere deep down inside is the wonderful man I married. He quit meds and says that he was never ill, it was me who was. Now he is being kind again, I am seeing the person I love. He is always around, I want him to be around. I miss him.
I know this is not right. I have to move on. It is so hard to remember all of the crazy times, all of the blaming, all of the accuasations, all of the hurtful things (Love is blind). I need to remember. No one around me understands. They have not dealt with bipolar, they do not know why I would even look back. I am so hurt and scared. How do you start life over?
Please help me. Give me your stories and let me know how you moved on. Help me find the way, I feel so alone tonight.
I'm with you. It IS hard to move on. My wife has done all of the things you described and more. However, we are still married. She had filed for divorce in June but we ended up dismissing it. Read my other posts for more details. I could no kidding write a book on all of the crazy stuff she has done.
But I still love her and I am still trying to help her. Sometimes I think I am crazy for doing so. I know everyone else thinks I am. I can't let go yet.
Boy, do I know how you feel. My husband has filed for dissolution and is very much the one pushing for it. Our hearing is next month and I don't want it either. He will ask about me once in a white to our daughter but acts like he doesn't miss me at all. Our 22nd anniversary was June 1 and then I was the most wonderful individual on earth. I too still love him and am very hurt by the things he has done to me and the kids. He doesn't think he has a problem. I wish I knew what to tell you because I would like to know how to just forget him too. My head knows what is best, but my heart is breaking again. Its hard to believe they can do this to you when all you have done is support and love them. Why do we still love them?
