|
Bipolar Depression
Make a connection, ask a question, share a concern, give advice or just chat. Our message boards connect you with a community of people who understand where you’re coming from and what you’re going through.
Go  |
New |
Find |
Notify |
|
Reply |
|
Admin |
New PM! |
|
|
well it's official, the last of the divorce paperwork was filed today. She should be served by this weekend at the latest.
been both the hardest day and the most liberating day, I feel so damn pulled and whipped around right now.
To everyone out there that has bi-polar, please understand that this is not a condemnation of you, it's no different than my back injury that makes me disabled. But the hell she has put me through with her UNTREAtED condition really has destroyed a family of 10.
i will keep everyone updated as time goes along.
I wish everyone well, and thanks for all the support.
I know I am better off without her, but the loss to this damn illness really still stings.
|
| |
|
|
|
It does not cease to amaze me. His entire family is whacked! They have like 9 dogs out at their house! They live in a pig sty…to the point that the floor is no longer carpet. They have birds out the wazoo and the bird poop is piled as high as the bird stands tall! I am appalled! They brought one of their dogs here because she and another one got into a fight and the one that’s here now cant be here but is because she was tied up and really got the brunt of the fight. Pretty tore up and nearly starved to death. So it’s not just him, it’s the entire lot! Then they also know how badly I miss my dog that was a miniature poodle who got ate by coyotes because we lived out in the country and she got out and got ate. I have wanted another little dog since then. These people have an onslaught of these chiwawa dogs and they just won’t give one to me but they will his sisters boyfriends mother. Who I might add isn’t even her boyfriend anymore and his mother is dead now. Who’s got the freaking dog now? What gives? Hell they lost two to the coyotes out there in the country. Could have given me one of those dogs. STUPID! And they always give me one to hold like rubbing it in that I can’t have one. Well last night was the last straw…the last time that they will pull at my heart strings. Last night after tom spent time helping HIS family out, he comes home with this adorable dog that was this chiwawa. Handed it to me like it was mine. She was sooo scared and all I could think was this poor dog needed love. I asked if it was mine (I know stamp sucker on my forehead) and was told that I had to talk to toms mother about it. So I went outside in my socks in the rain and asked. They took that dog away from me! I was heartbroken. They did it to me again. Sue says well we will take it home to denise and see if she wants it. A woman that’s in her early 40s living with her mommie. Well of course she’s going to want it…she’s already got like 5 of the damned things! What the hells one more? ESPECIALLY because I wanted it! I SWEAR I am this close | | to calling the SPCA on them! Like they NEED another animal. They don’t take care of themselves right or the animals for that matter! I am so majorly pissed off right now! How DARE they do this to me! I am FIGHTING mad! These are the head games that they play with me. All to hurt. Well….NO MORE! I so wanna leave...not because of this persey, but for how screwed up it all is. How can anyone find happiness in hurting people?
living with someone that has bipolar is no fun indeed and I want out!
|
| |
| Posts: 2 | Location: Fresno, Ca | Registered: 02-03-2007 | |
|
|
|
GET A CALENDAR and use it aa a DIARY to document everyghing she says to you and that you PERSONALLY hear her say to the children/others. RECORD dates, times, witnesses and note whether the children are home and awake - even if it is just one of them. IF YOU FEEL THREATENED IN ANY WAY - OR FEEL YOUR CHILDREN ARE IN DANGER - call the police and/or go to your local court for a TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO TELL ANYONE OF WHAT IS GOING ON - but be sure you tell the FACTS. DO NOT get upset or try to stop her - JUST KEEP YOURSELF AND THE KIDS OUT OF HARM'S WAY. Also, DO NOT DO/SAY ANYTHING that could be mis-presented as a negative against you. GET AN INDIVIDUAL BANK ACCOUNT - and have your paycheck direct deposited there. REMOVE yourself from all joint credit accounts that will allow you to do so. PROTECT your financial records/documents/cards making copies to keep out of harms way - including social security cards (and passports) of every memeber of the family. GET A COUNSELLOR and JOIN A BIPOLAR SUPPORT GROUP and JOIN A DOMESTIC ABUSE GROUP (hard to find for men, as having a penis is often a bar to access. Apparently, men can only be abusive, not abused! HA HA the freaking HA) DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN CRAZY/CHAOS MAKING. ALWAYS speak respectfully, gently, politely, calmly without anything that may be seen as abusive/threatening to the unstable bipolar nutcase (er, I mean) person, like normal responses of any type! HAVE WITNESSES PRESENT WHENEVER YOU CAN. GET THE SUPPORT OF FAMILY MEMBERS, NEIGHBORS, AND PARENTS - PARTICULARLY HERS, IF YOU CAN (but often they are in the same basket/case). TAKE PICTURES and/or VIDEOS of anything harmed/trashed/damaged - and get witnesses, too. GET COPIES OF ALL YOUR FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS and keep them out of the house. GET THE MEMOROBILIA you want from the relationship OUT OF THE HOUSE while you are still married and before anyone files for divorce. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SLAPPING THIS PERSON TO THE CURB AT EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY - NOT PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY - but with documentation and truthful statements and evidence (she will do, and likely has, done it to you and the kids). IF SHE HAS A DIAGNOSIS - tell your boss, the schools, the local police and send her doctors a letter let them know that if she alleges you are getting in the way of her treatment to contact you by telephone and, if thy do, follow-up in a writing that summarizes your conversation within 24 hours - ask for an email address - and send the letter certified. quote: Originally posted by HUrt and confused:
My wife of 5 1/2 years confided to me on Jan 02 that she has been having an affair and that she was diagnosed as manic depressive at age 17. Our sex life went from once a month or less to off the charts about the same time she started having the affair. She started leaving our kids home alone overnight to party and in the past 47 days she has been away from the home for 25 of them. She goes from screaming obscenities at me to asking for advice in the same phone call. She has been blowing her money like crazy, to the point we have bill collectors calling, then everything is my fault. Now she wants a divorce, the week before she told me this it was seriously all love hugs and kisses, I can't wait to see you again and everything else. I'm going nuts here, I'm giving her the divorce she wants right now, but it looks like she is going to move her boyfriend in right away.
Also she told me in her head, she knows this is the worst mistake of her life, but her heart right now tells me she hates me and cant stand the thought of seeing me. She has even said that she has woke up wishing I was dead. I'm really at my wits end here, Ive lost 34 pounds in the last month from this stress. The night she told the kids about the divorce, she left 30 minutes later, to spend the night with her friend and go out to a bar. She left me home with our 8 kids to deal with all this pain. Then she came home, turned around and left for ten more days, staying with her boyfriend, her friends going to the casino and bars ever night. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING - such as her not being home and think of yourself in the court battle of your life - because if you aren't yet, you will be soon. CONTACT YOUR LOCAL Department of Social Services/Child and Family Services/Domestic Violence Advocate and HONESTLY LET THEM KNOW what is going on - and give them LOTS of documents. DO NOT let you bipolar spouse make the first impression on ANYONE if you can avoid it. Human nature is to believe the first person who comes in with the sob story - BE SURE YOU ARE THE FIRST AND THAT YOU HAVE DOCUMENTATION/PHOTOS/WITNESSES. DO NOT LET your love for your spouse PREVENT you from realizing that you have CHILDREN AND YOURSELF to protect. KNOW that the bipolar person, as anyone with a mentil health issue, will sell you out at every possible turn and think nothing of it - because they are not thinking clearly. DO NOT let her crazy-making threats, excuses (oh, they have so many excuses - that are so believable. At least to those who have not lived with the nightmare for a long period of time) prevent you from KNOWING what you KNOW is right (this is why documents/witnesses/photos are so important). Know that bipolars will engage in gas-lighting, or trying to make you believe that YOU are losing your mind - then they will tell all that your mental health is in question. In short, these are VERY dangerous people. The longer a bipolar goes untreated, the more frequently they cycle through their mood swings and the more likely they will resort to physical violence - either against others, or aginst themselves (self-mutilation, risky sex, spending sprees, suicide). Bipolars are also EXCELLENT at playing the victim and pushing all buttons until they get a normal reaction - and then they cry, scream, plead and otherwise demand attention from anyone in their hemisphere to say "...see how awful he is to me?" or words to that effect. If all actresses were bipolar, it would be impossible to determine who would win the award for best actress. But, worst of all, when you start to corner the bipolar, the threats, accusations, hostility and other negativity gets worse as their circle of control shrinks. In this way, bipolars are much like bullys - if the believe you are not afraid, they will escalate thier threats to see just how strong you really are. IF you can stand your ground (in the face of a freight train bearing down on you - from all directions - while tied to the tracks and guarded by tyrants with sub-machine guns instructd to kill you if you escape) then the same thing will happen to the bipolar as to the high school bully - they will leave you alone and move on to another target (often the kids). Beware the bipolar bitch.
My bipolar spouse - who is in complete denial and medical non-compliance (and is about to be served divorce papers because she scares the shit out of me on a regular basis and, not to mention, that I have better things to do with my life than to compensate for the failures of her parents to help her address her issues before turning her loose on unsuspecting boyfriends but mainly because I have our child to protect) claimed marital abuse (starting 3 years before we married) and had her mother call our local police department alleging that monster-in-law was concerned about her daughter due to marital troubles and that she could not reach her daughter. On a particular night. On that night, I arrived home around an hour after this staged wellness check to find the house trashed (every room) and all phones unplugged. I took photographs and video and had two witnesses come to the house. I obtained our cell/home phone records that show my wife and her mother exchanged about 10 calls before mommy dearest "could not reach" her daughter and "was in fear for her safety." (the apple does not fall far from the tree) In addition, mommy dearest and psycho bipolar spouse exchanged about 8 more phone calles starting less than one minute after mommy dearest could not reach her daughter. Of course, all these calls were from mommy dearests home phone to her bipolar daughter's cell phone. My attorney contends that this is staged based on the chronology and my documentation. When mommy dearest swooped in to kidnap my daughter from a neighbor's house within 30 minutes after being served my divorce papers and my daughter vanished for 24 hours until I got a call from my bipolar bitch - who said that our daughter was in a "safe location" - I successfully petitioned the courts for sole custody. Foolishy, I reconciled and suddenly found myself being served a second set of divorce papers, this time with a temporary restraining order alleging that I am a child pornographer. When THAT was dismissed - and the subsequent criminal investigation that went up to the state attorney's office WAS ALSO DISMISSED and mommy dearest shut of the financing of my bipolar bitch after she spend $12,000 in one month on mommy dearest's credit card (not to mention losing the security deposit on her temporary rental because the landlord found animal urine and feces stains on the carpets and other destruction of property) I reconciled to protect my daughter. At present, my bipolar bitch is still pissing through about $1800.00 per month on who knows what (it's not our bills) we are about to begin the foreclosure process on the house and reposession process on the car. Fortunately, I have separate accounts - after our $10,000 savings account vanished in 60 days!
GET AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK. PROTECT YOURSELF AND THE KIDS (in that order, they need you whole so you can protect them) and SECURE YOUR FINANCES from being accessed by a disreputable human who has an untreated mental condition.
You CANNOT fix another person - though you can TRY to get them to fix themself. HOWEVER, they first have to realize they are broken - and DENAIL is stronger than steel and usually as invisible as a diamond in water to the person with the problem.
What can I do? I'm really new to all this and I don't know how to handle it....
|
| |
|
|
Oh my, aren't we a angry fanatical done wrong bastard? Your Bipolar spouse screwed you really bad. Got it and you have every right to be angry, you do. You do not however, have the right to spread hatred and ignorance which you have most clearly done here.
Man, I haven't felt the need to post in a while cause the posts have mainly been from women who will die without their spouse cause they are co-dependent as hell. You however, are clearly different in that you promote such vile hatred and sterotypical labels because you got screwed.
Unfortunately, you may have to have your next potential mate/spouse/lover psychologically evaluated cause honey there are a lot of Bipolars out here.
We are working 1 and sometimes 2 jobs, we are caring for our families and some of us are caring for your families in the occupation of nurses and doctors. We are scientists that help develop new vaccines and new technology. We are engineers, musicians, preachers, priests, nuns, and a few employees of Wal Mart (largest private employer, think about it).
We run large companies, we build houses, boats, cars. We teach your children, mentor the developmentally/mentally challenged. We climb mountains, surf the world's oceans, and we protect you in law enforcement and the military.
Think about it, scary to you I guess - that we aren't all maniacal nutcase bipolar bitches.
|
| |
|
|
|
There is something seriously wrong with this thread! First is the lack of respect Marie has for the guys feelings.
You have your own 'problems', Marie ...thats evident! But if you can't control them don't post! You're only going to upset people.
Secondly, Hurt. I realise you've been through a lot. And I realise that it must be very painful for you right now. I can see quite clearly that you're only looking for someone to talk to, and offload onto. There's nothing wrong with that. But I do suggest that you've found the wrong board to do it on if you can't handle rejection right now.
Take Marie for example. You are at risk of getting answers like that. And in your state at the moment that is not going to help.
Whatever happens, just rememeber you have children, and they are the most important thing to you right now. Try to make them as happy as you'd like to feel. I imagine that would give you great satisfaction to see your children so alive, and happy. Would it not?
My prayers are with you xx
|
| |
|
|
|
I hope you were not referring to me. I have legally protected myself, and I wish NO ill will towards my soon to be X.
I honestly hope she can get help, that's what I want for her.
But I could not stay with someone who was neglecting the kids for days on end with no contact, thinking she was getting away with her affairs because I was away 3-4 nights a week.
I don't hate her, I hate the illness that she REFUSES to get ANY help for, even though she KNOWS she has it. She would rather continue her life this way than seek help. Even when she has hurt every single member of the family of 10 she broke up.
I have Bi-polar friends, I confided to them what had happened in my life and they told me the same thing, get out, protect yourself and your kids.
Her kids at home are left to deal with this alone, She won't let me even talk to them, because she is afraid I will find out the things she continues to do.
4 of her five children feel neglected and unloved by her, and are scared of her actions.
I had to leave to protect myself and my three children.
So does this make a fanatical done wrong bastard?
I just wish she would get help for her and her children's sake,
That's all i want for her
And by the way, when I moved out with my children, I took NOTHING except one weeks with of clothing, my tools and a few personal mementos, and a small fraction of my three children's toys. I left her EVERYTHING else.
So it was NOT about screwing her over.
And to my knowledge I have spread no lies or hatred
By the way, at least do me the courtesy of reading MY posts, not those edited or added to by others
|
| |
|
|
|
thanks Randi,
My kids are doing great, they are thriving with me. We get to spend every moment that they are not in school together. In fact one of my children has shot up a full grade in reading and comprehension in just one month. They have told me a lot of stories and getting them out of that situation has been very good for them mentally.
As far as people popping off, well they are entitled to their feelings/words as well.
By the way, my mental condition is 1000% better, I am actually happy right now, seeing my children flourish and knowing that I am out of a sham of a marriage has really been good for me.
You know, you burn up a lot of energy when you are worried your spouse is unfaithful and self destructive, being freed of that really can save your mind
|
| |
|
|
so i take it that he referring to bipolars as maniacal nutcases (yes i know he was referring to his bipolar bitch wife {his words} but generalized bipolars as maniacal nutcases) and his tone of language didn't upset anyone but me? oh well...
I don't have any issues per se. In fact, i'm tired of hearing how you can't live without your spouses, you can't go on without them and in the same sentance describe them as being basically abusive and foul.
Not one single non-bipolar SO/spouse have I seen (and please by all means correct me) so far has posted any responsibility for their own actions in the quagmire of their marriages and/or relationships. It is as if all non-bipolar spouses are nothing less than perfect angels who do absolutely nothing what so ever abusive or foul.
Take my spouse for instance - he spends "his" money and mine. He gambles with his friends. He leaves me to go bowling whilst I am having a miscarriage. He gets into all sorts of sticky things and I'm left to clean them and fix them and pay for them. He isn't bipolar - I am.
So, his actions "trigger" my mania and my depression at times to the point of suicidal contemplation.
Now he'd come on here seeking sympathy and say I was a bipolar bitch who bitches about money, spends mine excessively at times (not as bad as he does), gets angry and irritable and agitated. He would say I bitch and nag about everything, my temper flares, I worry too much, I cry too much, I'm impulsive and reckless at times etc... I tell him I hate and despise him, etc... guess what folks? I do.
See there are 2 sides to every story. I am willing to acknowledge my responsibility but, I am not the sole instigator in my marriage.
Some non-bipolar SO/spouses use the ill one's affliction as a excuse to manipulate them and/or do as they wish without guilt or consequence - just as some bipolars do.
cheers!
|
| |
|
|
|
Oh I know that all too well, Hurt. I was living with my partner for a year. Now, he was not bipolar, and I am. Yet, he constantly took advantage of me. Completley destroyed our relationship. I wasted so much energy on him, and I shouldn't have done. Because it ended with him hitting me with a fish slice. I packed my bags and was out the door within a day. NOONE touches me. And it's a bloody wonder I didn't hit him back! I didn't cry. I didn't flinch. Nothing. I just waited till he was done. The I simply said 'I'm leaving you now'...and left. And it was the best thing that I ever did. I've met someone new now. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me. We got engaged just before Christmas.
Happy endings are real. And I'm sure you'll find yours. But like me, you might have to go through some shit before you come out the other end smiling.
This post also applies to you, Marie. I see you're obviously a very bitter person, and I don't mean any disrespect by saying that but it doesn't sound to me like you have any outlet for your anger. And it doesn't sound like you truely have control of your illness. Or even understand it.
Marie, I wanted to ask you. Does your spouse really do the things you said he does. If so, why would you stay in an environment that is clearly damaging to your mental health and ultimately your recovery?
I apologise if this seems like a dreadfully imposing question but it seems everyone is able to bare their souls here and luckily I'm a kind ear.
This post is also for you Marie because I wanted to show you that not all bipolar's are 'manic bitches'. I'm a very loving and giving person. I have my moments of course, but I'm finally learning to control them to some extent. I can control most of my highs...but my lows I have not yet mastered.
I may only be young, but I'm more wise than most. And I've had dreadful life experiences that many people shouldn't have to go through. These experiences shaped me and made me wise up. Made me fight back. I've been fighting back ever since. And I've never been happier doing it.
|
| |
|
|
"This post also applies to you, Marie. I see you're obviously a very bitter person, and I don't mean any disrespect by saying that but it doesn't sound to me like you have any outlet for your anger. And it doesn't sound like you truely have control of your illness. Or even understand it.
Marie, I wanted to ask you. Does your spouse really do the things you said he does. If so, why would you stay in an environment that is clearly damaging to your mental health and ultimately your recovery?
I apologise if this seems like a dreadfully imposing question but it seems everyone is able to bare their souls here and luckily I'm a kind ear."
First, like the new look of the website. It changed sometime between my 4:30pm and 7:15pm.
Second, I know I'm bitter and no disrespect received from that observation point and no I have no outlet for my anger. I was never allowed to feel anything valid while growing up. My thoughts, feelings, needs, were for the most part not validated. Was a very shy, quiet, hid in the corner until someone called/screamed at me, little girl - still am to some extent so yeah - I'm bitter and angry.
Third, yes my husband is a bastard truly and completely. Will be married 18 years come May. Of those 18 years only 2 can I honestly say were good. I married him because he asked.
I had no "boyfriends" before him and no one said I was beautiful or that I was special so I fell for his line and married him. Shortly thereafter, I found out why and it wasn't because he loved me it was because of what I could do for him.
As far as why do I stay when it is a threat to my mental health? I have no supportive family to turn to (they said no), my credit is ruined, and i have $50 in the bank.
Part of the depression is the running thoughts of you are trapped, can't leave, no hope, so on and so on.
Course if you are BP I you don't really understand the true depths of suicidal depression supposedly. BP Is get primarily the full blow mania and little if any depression. BP IIs get primarily the deep depression with little to hardly any occurance of full blown mania. And then, there is the rapid cyclers who switch to and fro on a dime and the Mixers who get manic and severely depressed at the exact same time - I get lots of those.
My illness - oh I know it well, can't you tell? I know it very very well and I do understand it even more so. As far as is it under control? - wouldn't think so - doesn't seem like it does it? No, can't say that it is. I'm working on it though slowly but ever so surely.
See I acknowledge my short comings sometimes to a fault and I accept that I could probably do so much better if I could just figure out how and believe it. My Bipolar can be so very nice and colorful or so dark and forboding. Some is due to external things, environmental things, stress, pressure, anxiety, and mostly within me.
Nice to know you are a "kind ear" and no I don't think all Bipolars are maniacal bitches. I know we aren't but the gentleman with the long rant of how to screw your bipolar spouse who screwed you - well he is the one who lumped us all into that category.
See he was the angry ranting venegful one - I got pissed - and well... don't want this to go into who can piss the furthest.
|
| |
|
|
|
Marie,
There is No WAY I would lump all women into the category that the other poster has.
For the record, again I don't hate my STBX, I hate what she has done, and most of all I hate this damn disease that has been working on her since she was diagnosed and left untreated since she was 17.
I don't wish ill will upon her by any means, in fact just the opposite, I hope for her to get treatment, so she can lead a life again.
What triggered her mania was the fact that the home we had been renting for 5 years was being foreclosed on by the bank because the landlord would not pay his bills, She spiraled into a depression with that.
The stress shot her into a mania when a new hire announced how pretty she was and how he wanted to F%@k heron his first day of work. (he said this to the other people at work) He started paying attention to her every time he worked with her, and I was away 3 nights a week completing my degree. One thing led to another and they both made a conscious decision to have another affair. By the way, he cheated on his fiance with my wife and my wife would smooth things over with her when she started figuring it out.
I did not know she was bipolar until she told me she wanted a divorce. I had no clue.
And just for the record, I did ALL the household chores, including the accumulated laundry cooked all the meals, made meals ahead for when I was gone, just to take the load off her. I scrubbed toilets, did the grocery shopping and kept the house clean.
I'm back in school to finish my degree, and she works 40 hours a week, I handled the home, she made the money. We both knew that by this May I would be able to find a job, and she knew I was there for her to do WHATEVER she wanted to.
It was this damn disease that tore us apart. I'm not strong enough to take a series of affairs, the emotional abuse, and the abandonment of the children.
Honestly, everyone is scratching their heads about this one, even her family members. I am a great father to her five children, and I was a great husband to her.
And one other thing,
I was violently abused as a child, in every concievable fashion
I too was never allowed to think I mattered in any way
let me tell you something, no matter what YOU DO MATTER!
And there are places that can help you start over in your life if you really want to. Feel free to send me a private message if you want off the board, I have contacts that can find help agencies in your area to get you started, even including free lawyers and help with housing, jobs, furniture and more.
BY the way vent all you want to,
all I ask is that you look at my posts, not as they have been modified by someone else, because I don't like being lumped into the bastard category.
Friends?
|
| |
|
|
As many of you will be overjoyed and dance - This will be my last posting here. I find that too many of the posts are not from actual people with the illness but more their spouses and/or SOs.
In that I get too sensitive whether it is aching for you and your issues or being mad when someone catagorizes and generalizes, I'm not finding much "help" for me from this site.
Need to be where other Bipolars actually are and get some glimpses of help and insight from them. It is too clear to me anyway that the 2 sides will not fully see what the other side is going through cause we are too firmly cemented on our own side of the fence.
|
| |
|
|
|
Best of luck to you Marie. I can definately understand where this forum would be at times insulting to say the least to a person with bipolar. It is when we as the spouse are at our lowest that we come here and at times maybe looking for someone to put the blame on. Good luck on your quest.
Bren
|
| |
|
|
|
Here is the kicker, I did not come here to find someone to put the blame on. I came here with the intent to find out just what I had run up against.
I did
All the times we were run into the hole deep in debt, the affairs, the isolations, the abandonment, the sexual excesses.
I had no idea what the hell was going on. I really was there for my STBX. I am a very supportive man, and I could not understand what happened.
I have read just about every story here, and on another board, and seeing that I am going through what so many others before me have gone through before kept me sane.
It was never bashing of my STBX, it was trying to understand. I was honest about what was going on, I have been honest about what her accusations where against me.
I know that she is mentally ill from a chemical imbalance. I don't hate her, I hate the disease.
At the same time however, I cannot for my sake or that of my three children (that I have full custody of) live in that environment.
Her 5 children still mean the world to me, but she won't let me have contact because she is afraid I will find out even more that she is doing and continues to do, and afraid that social services will become involved.
here's the other kicker, I have written our marrriage off. I could care less about what she does, my only hope for her is two things:
I: She gets the help she desperately needs
II: She gets that help before she destroys her life even further.
I am moving on with my life, it was a HARD, VERY HARD decision, but I am moving on.
I am always here for her children, and they know I will always be there for them, but as for her, For my own sanity, she has to stay out of my life.
It's been over a month since I have had ANY contact with her, and you know what, everyday that passes makes me know that my decision was the right one.
|
| |
|
|
|
Dear Hurt and confused.: I am a 34 year old wife of 14 years as of this May 15, 2007! I have had mood instibilty all of my life and of course did not understand the extremes of it. I do not have Bipolar 1, but I was diagnosed with rapid bipolar officially last year. My doctor worked with me almost a year,before he deemed it Bipolar. After taking medications for IVF (becasue we can't have children), the meds almost drove me insane. This made my moods worse. I immed. went to a doctor for my moods and started medications. I don't have a worse case scenario; however, it is a confusing life at times. Getting help has helped my life get on track. I have always had a strong will; and even though I would feel tired and listless, I pushed myself--ihave always had a job and now have three degrees ( I teach fourth graders). Before I got on my meds, I had mood swings and perceived things in a totally different light. The moody feelings just take over. I can actually stand there screaming and saying things that I know aren't true (when I really think about it). I have sat in my livingroom with the feeling "if I could only just knock everything off the shelves etc. , I would feel better" Know I don't do that. However, I have thrown things. I also use fowl language with my husband when I am in a mood. It is a REAL state of my mind not an excuse. Trust me, I have cried and prayed for many years!!!! I have an awesome husband who GOd gave to me. I wondered how he has been able to stick it out at times. He tells me there are probably some that couldn't have. He assures me that it is a medical problem, which some people don't believe. I have taken meds for a couple of year now. I am trying to find just the right combination though. I thought I had it a couple of times. It helped with the mood, but there were too many side effects. WHen you have 3 side effects, it needs to be changed.  I admire you for having to live with a bipolar person. I skimmed as much as I could of your information, and I am sorry to hear the results of your marriage. At the same time, if she is not getting help, you do need to get relief. I just wanted to share that I am a person who as suffered. It is not easy. YOu just lose it. Your perception is totally different when in that mind set...totally different. At one time, my mood woudl switch like a light swich literraly. I am a survivor though. Best wishes. Oh btw, We don't have children, so I am sure that makes it a lot easier on our end to spend more time with helping me. Plus, I have been willing to do what ever it takes!!! I know others are worse, and they may not be able to think as rationally. This is actually only about the second time I have ever written on a blog that hasn't had anything to do with my education. I hope it helps. I will think of you and keep you in my prayers. KNow that you are no alone. I know that is easier said than felt. Let me know if you have any questions about bipolar tha is confusing, and I will be glad to share my experiences!!!! |
| |
|
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
| |
