Bipolar Depression

I am 32 years old, in January I'll be 33 years old. I first became ill and diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychosis at 18. I did not fit the profile of schizophrenia nor just bipolar disorder; hence, bipolar with psychosis. I have been stable except for when my thyroid disease went into hyperthyroid phase. The thyroid effects the mind. My thyroid meds are back in the required zone for maintenance.

However, I am beginning to see my life differently. I believe I can one day try living on my own, even have my first job. My dr. agrees and was the one to suggest this as my problems arise when my thyroid meds are not monitored correctly by my PCP.

I presently live with my mom and sister--always have. There is an ever-present sense of negativity in the house. Mom yelling and chasing the dogs to get them to be quiet. I have told them to get them adopted out to good homes, but they won't hear it because they believe each one is a past pet reincarnated. I get sick of hearing this. One became vicious and bit me a couple months ago. Only then did they take him to the shelter because I stated, "You choose. Me or the dogs?" For a few moments, they told me they wanted the dogs over me.

Now we have another batch of puppies, two in fact. They are old enough to find homes for each of them. However, my mom is saying one of them--the one that bites my ankles and leg--is the reincarnated soul of a cat I had 10 years ago. I think she is just trying to justify keeping them.

They do not like people coming to visit. Mom and Carolyn do not want anyone over. If I want to socialize I have to do so, out of the house, which I now have in my name. My sister receives my SSI "for the benefit of [me]" but I never see a dime of it. I said I wanted it to go to the mortgage, which it isn't because I just got finished with a Chapter 13 to ensure we could keep the house because we became late on the payments. They kept this from me for a while. My sister had the opportumity to save the house by TALKING to the man we got the house from, but she was scared and wouldn't do it. So she told me to file a Chapter 13 Bankruptcy. Now I am locked into this house for several years, which I wish I could leave because of their pessimistic attitude that nothing ever changes, it will always be this way, and we might as well accept it.

I want more out of life. I went through therapy and was blossoming, which they did not like because I began speaking my peace. I had not done that since I was 18. Now I feel stifled and trapped. I am going to talk to my dr. about this entire situation, which is rather complicated.

I basically want to know, from what I have been able to write about here, if anyone thinks I am being wrong in my assessment of the situation?

I feel like I am suffocating in a house where no one wants to hear me when I bring the ugly reality of a situation out in the open.

Help!

Sincerely,
Leanna

If I may ask, why is your sister receiving YOUR disability payments for the benefit of you? I didn't quite get that and I must say it is a bit disturbing to read that she is in control of YOUR disability payments.

Does your mom and sister have your Power of Attorney so that they speak and act for you as if they were you? It is a legal document signed by attorneys and whatnot for folks to handle other folk's affairs and money.

If you wanted the disability payments to go to the mortgage then what happened to the money if it didn't go to the mortgage company?

I am only going by what you posted but it seems to me that your mom and sister are handling your affairs and money and they are doing so to benefit themselves and not necessarily you (sister telling you to file Chapter 13 which ruins you financially for many many years to come; uh but not her). This is what your posting implies to me anyway.

Speak with your psychiatrist and see what he/she advises. You should know what your sister is doing with your disability payments at the very least if you don't already.

My sister began receiving my benefits FOR me when I first became ill at 18. At that time, I was disoriented, hearing voices, and impulsive. My psychiatrist then said for the time being to have my sister receive the "benefits for [me]" to get the most I could dollar wise at that time from SSI to help pay for my meds. At this time, my meds were not covered by Medicaid. It was NOT supposed to be a life-long arrangement. Only until I could begin functioning again like "normal" people; at which time, it was to be placed in my name.

My psychiatrist that I see today(have been for nearly 6 years) has programs to help me learn how to manage life with mental illness: pay bills, find support within the community if I choose to move out, how to manage life with a job and get to dr.'s and therapist appointments, etc.

No, they do not have anything written saying they can speak on my behalf and/or a legal document saying they have the right to do so. Only the SSI check says, "[My sister's name] for the benefit of [my name here]". That is it. But SSI will not talk to me but only my sister because of what it says on the check.

If my money did not go to the mortgage, then I have no clue where the money went to, except perhaps bills. And which bills, if any, I am not made aware of. It's like it is her(my sister's) money to use although she knows the legalities. For three months I thought my SSI check WAS going to the mortgage payment only to find out it wasn't and we were in arrearages and could lose the house in a few weeks to a month.

My sister filed a Chapter 13 but converted it to a Chapter 7 due to another house we once had. She tried to use her Chapter 13 to save the one we live in now but she was too scared to negotiate with the man so converted without ever speaking to him. Bad business sense to me, IMHO. I would have spoken to him and did when Carolyn told me to file a Chapter 13. So as of 5 days ago I have this glorious house that is in satifactory to fair condition that needs more money to improve it to sell it to cut even--that is tied to me for a four years.

However, now I am stuck in a Chapter 13 with Trustee payments AND mortgage payments that are being paid by guess who? MY mom and sister. How can I ensure I will not fall behind on my payments when the control of the SSI check is out of my hands? It worries me to no end that I could get dismissed instead of discharged. (Discharged means I paid my debt in full. Dismissed means I missed a payment and did not adhere to the terms in the payment plan; so I could lose the house that I tried to save because I could not get my hands on my own SSI check to make sure the Trustee payment got to her.)

I will speak in-depth concerning the situation with my psychiatrist as my financial future is out of my hands, and in the hands of--hate to say it--irresponsible adults. I am not saying I am great but I have never had the chance to learn these skills. My psychiatrist wants to provide me with these skills although it may mean I have to move out into community housing.

Thanks for replying. I apologize for the length of the reply. In order to understand, I figured some explanation was in order.

Sincerely,
Leanna