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The depakote seems to have given him some clarity, but now the anxiety attacks seem to be getting worse. He says it feels like everything is closing in on him and he's got a weight on his chest, especially when it starts to get dark outside. Is this a typical symptom? We've had the best four days we've had in six weeks this week. He's apologized for the first time for some of the nasty things he's said to me. He didn't want me to touch, sit by, or even look at him for so long...but now he's pulling me close and reaching out to me at night. It feels good; however, last night he told me that he's still battling running away. He told me that it was just like he woke up a different person and that literally one minute he was OK and the next morning he had all of these things in his head. Is this typical too? It seems to get worse when he forgets to take his meds. I just dont know what to do from here. I'll take and cherish every good day we have, and I'll be there to support him on the bad ones (when he lets me). I just am not sure how to go from here.
My wife is about to begin week 2 on Topamax, and aside from a couple of depressed days, it's been good. I don't know about depakote. I suggest gently urging him to join you in some quiet, soothing time. Don't go over the top. Start by thinking of a calm activity that isn't too far off the beaten path for you both. Think of ways to gradually make spending time together be about indulgence in calm, controlled activities and environments. Think romance, but without an expectation of it leading to anything sexual. It has been helpful in my situation. I think of it as kind of "Zen". She really gets affected by her surroundings. Is that the case for him, also? Sometimes its like an over-the-top social anxiety. What you mentioned about running away is so much a part of it, too. She has told me several times that she fights strong urges to escape everything, and she finds herself making reckless choices because she's compelled to break free of the "noise" and run away. The rejection you experience is also familiar. I have been so harshly rejected and torn down that I just can't cope, sometimes. One thing seems certain--we aren't alone. Keep your chin up and use your creativity to move in a positive direction. Don't forget your own importance. Remember to laugh. Best wishes to you both.
