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It took me several years but I recently ended the relationship with my bp husband. I tolerated a lot of abuse for many many years because I really thought I could help him. Just last year I found out he was bp which explains alot of his behavioral patterns. Because I was with him so long I realized that there was a cycle he was on and I could tell you the months out of the year he was manic and the ones where he was severely depressed. After receiving a diagnosis from pcm he went to psychiatrist once and didn't want to follow up with any of her suggestions or be tested although he displayed all the symptoms. I had to end the relationship because it really was awful. When I first ended it he was harassing me and then threatening me. Over the last few days I haven't heard from him. Does that mean that he finally accepts that things are over? I'm planning on getting a divorce when he is not manic, which if my memory serves me right should be around January or February. Why do some people with bp choose to abuse people they claim to love rather than go to therapy and take meds?
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I would suggest going onto the "Friends and Loved Ones" section. You'll see many of us who have left our BP, and you'll probably see many similarities to your situation. Also read the entry from "G" called "BP and Non-BP relationships". It's in the same forum.
I hardly believe not hearing from him means he's accepting that it's over. If he's manic, he's probably very busy doing lots of other things and can't be bothered right now (that was my ex BP when manic). I could almost guarantee he's going to contact you - when is hard to say. When he crashes, when he runs out of money, when he gets in trouble with the law, when his friends and casual acquaintances dump him. Sorry to sound harsh but this was the cycle with my ex BP. He was BP1 so his mania was exceptionally bizarre behavior and very hard to hide from others.
Many folks on the other forum were abused, too. It seems that we become the target b/c we're closest to them. Some BP's that have posted on here have verified this. We remind them that they need help and they don't want to hear it. It's so hard to understand b/c we're not suffering with the disorder.
Take care, and please pop onto "Friends and Loved Ones". There's alot of great people who will be glad to help.
Thanks Karen for sharing your story. I didn't realize that there was a better place to post my question. I'll read the threads you told me about and post my questions there from now on. I guess for me its so hard for me to understand how people with bp shift their moods so much. How do they go from being wonderful to be your worst nightmare every few months.
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