Bipolar Depression

I have been reading through the posts and see alot of spouses trying to hang on or trying to let go...but I don't see many people who have children with this awful disease. I have a 16yo son who is struggling with this and it has all but distroyed what was once a happy family. Here is our dynamic, responsible but lazy big brother, Dad has black and white attitude and believes the BP thing is a crutch, and me I think I am an enabler, but I have to step back from all the horrible things my son does and blames on everything else but himself and see how terrible it must be to be in his shoes. Let me introduce my son, he is everyones best friend from the moment you meet him, he chooses to self medicate with street drugs mostly marijuanna but currenty he is a little more stable and on his BP meds, only after being confronted for stealing a family heirloom and denying it so vehmently that he put holes in the walls and tried to swallow a whole bottle of asprin in an attempt to end it all I called 911 and he threatened to charge the police with a knife so they would have to shoot him, they committed him for 36 hours and stablized him. He still denies taking the items yet he told me exactly where I could find them in his room..... this is a daily occurance, he steals us blind and does not admit to any of it, the temper outbursts when confronted seem like a manipulation...I can't understand it? I am oncall at my job and they provided me with a cell phone that he has stolen and when replaced he stole the second one, placing my job in jeapordy without even a flinch of conscience. There are days I just want him gone, but I know he cannot take care of himself, he quit school basically when he was 12, we have had him arrested, we put him in rehab, he knows how to say what you want to hear and then do what he wants anyway. I love him dearly but I am losing my sanity we put locks on all the doors he kicks them in, what makes this so hard is I am not safe in my own home, and he is such a good soul, when he finally does admit to things and shows remorse and yearning for things to change I know that he is sincere in that moment, the problem is that moment quickly turns into another moment and is lost to another whim. It seems that he is very much into instant gratification, damn the consequences. My husband has threatened to leave me over this, it is very hard to remain sane with all of the daily drama...any advice would be appreciated. I am terrified when i read it gets worse as your get older....I cannot even consider worse at this point.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Your life must be a nightmare, I know mine has been. Whilst I am the spouse of someone with Bipolar, I have felt like I was his mum. Caring for a loved one with this disorder is identical I don't think it matters whether it is a husband or a son. The experiences and behaviour are the same regardless.

I think that my 37 year old husband has had the illness for a long time although it was only diagnosed 2 months ago. We are now living apart as I didn't feel safe in my own home either. I know that you can't throw your son out but the best you can do is try and get him more help maybe in a hospital. I am still trying to get my husband back into hospital as he isn't taking his meds beacuse he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him.

So much of what you have said is similar to what I have been through in the last 5 years and it has got progressively worse. My husband has abused me physically and doesn't seem to remember it and denies that any of it has happened. He has also self-medicated with weed, broken things in our house, buried suitcases in the woods, run away leaving doors unlocked etc. He also comes across as charming and no one would ever know. I have had it confirmed that the manipulative behaviour that they display, blaming you for everything is a very common symptom.

All you can do is love and support your son. Please don't feel guilty that you feel so fed up - this illness is all consuming and it's worse for the carers. Good luck. You might want to read other websites that talk specifically about dealing with children with the disorder but the overall management is the same I think. Please make sure that you take care of yourself.