Bipolar Depression

Well hello all. I'm new here and well, I really need some insite. I'm a 18 year old girl who's lived with bipolar for quite sometime now. As a child, my outbursts were REALLY bad and even phsyical. Now they seem to have become verbal. I thought I was doing really well, but just recently a friend has informed me I change from being very rude and having outbursts to being very kind and helpful. The thing is, I don't even know I've changed. I also do know i'm a very emotional person,and I do go from happy to sad to angry a lot. I'm also rather..mouthy..I contantly tease my sisters and mother and I don't know how to stop. I really don't want to end up friendless,and I don't want to keep doing this to my family. I've told my mom I want to see a therpaist but she doesn't think it's necessary. She doesn't see why I can't talk to her. I'm already on meds, but I don't know what else to do. It really worries me,especially since i'll be starting college and such. Help?

Hi there Penguinlover !!! Welcome to an amazing forum I'm sooo sorry that it took some time for a reply to be posted. I've been on the forum before so I thought it's time I make a comeback
I'm really, really sorry for all the confusion and pain you're going through right now. Just know that there are many, many people out there also waging a daily battle against this indiscriminate and extremely disruptive life illness. It's sooo great that you have acknowledged that you do have a problem that you need help with..that is the most important step to getting better.That's sooo fantastic Well done !!! Most people don't want to admit to themselves or others that they do have it even though they know that they have seemingly uncontrollable urges, mood swings, etc. or other symptoms of it.

I know oh so well about the going from happy to sad to angry...it seems like so many things can trigger that and makes you want to engage in avoidance behaviours(of people and situations). When and under what circumstances do you finding that happening to you alot ?

With family...I guess lashing out at them is easy bcos they are "easy targets" for your rage, a rage brought on by a heightened sense of irritability and irrational thinking which I know seems so justified and uncontrollable at the time ..but then you just feel sooo guilty and bad after

You know therapy and meds are in most instances the total package fot the road to recovery.. they really go hand in hand. So I think therapy is really important and yes..it does help to talk to your mum but unfortunately most parents out there (as much as they love you and would always be there for you ) don't have the professional training or background to help you in the way that you need to manage a very, very challenging illness. So I think you do need a therapy routine perhaps even more so than the meds as an appropriate starting point for your road to wellness. When were you diagnosed as being bipolar and who prescribed you meds if you were n't able to see a professional therapist or a psychiatrist ?

One thing with bp as well...too much change at one time can sometimes be overwhelming and a really huge trigger for an episode. I had someone I cared about so much go through it...she was promoted to a senior position at work and stopped taking her meds and had a really bad depressive episode, where she has subsequently walked out of my life and I don't even know how she is

So starting college is a really big thing in your life with alot of stress and expectations...so you have to really take care of yourself and have that support network to ensure that you are ok.

Cheers & always know that you're never alone bcos there are sooo many people out there that care and are just a post away

Bye
me

Hi Penguin,
If your mom doesn't think you need therapy, I'm wondering how you got diagnoses with BP in the first place? If you are self-diagnosing, please check out all the possibilities for your symptoms. You may not be BP at all, you may have Borderline Personality Disorder or emotional dysregulation or something else.

If you are BP, you may want to try TrueHope's EmPower Plus supplement. It's a lot cheaper and safer than bipolar medications, but it doesn't work for everyone. It may, however, work for you. You can see the Discovery Channel special on it on Youtube.com. It's in 6 parts - type in "discovery" and "truehope" into the search engine there.

There is also something called DBT, Dialectical Behavioral Training you can do. It's better to do with a therapist, but it's very expensive. You can probably buy the skills manual at your local bookstore, it's by Marsha Linehan, who is the expert on this method.

Also, to keep your cool, Eastern philosophies can be instituted. Try yoga, meditation and Tai Chi or Qui Gong to still your mind. And, try to avoid "trigger'" situations, whatever they may be for you.

There are also things you can do nutritionally to support your mental health. Try to steer clear from simple carbohydrates and make sure you get all of your healthy fats. Wild salmon is high in omega three fatty acids which have been shown to support brain health. Avocados and walnuts are also healthy fats. Don't drink sugary soft drinks or jiuces (unless these are "cut" with a lot of water and the juice is just to flavor the water). Get plenty of dark green leafy veges and other colorful veges.

If you could get into a program somewhere, it would be the best thing for you, but, without parental guidance, your situation is a difficult one.

To hopeless; I guess I should have said that when I was younger, like 10 or so, I DID recieve therapy which is where I was diagnosed. However, we moved and we did not continue therpay, but did continue with a psychaiatrist.

I find these feeling happeneing the most when under a lot of stress or around that time of the month. And I try not to but I really can't help it.

Cathy, I guess I should have explained that when I was young, I did recieve therapy, but then we moved and did not continue it. That is where I was diagnosed. I still continue to see a Pschyaitrist, but not a therapist.
Unfortunately, I think my trigger situations are that time of the month, which cannot be avoided. Stress is also a big trigger.

I am going to try and get into a program this summer as I will be 18 and even if my mom does not agree, I can do it. Thanks for replying.

Hi Penguin,

There is another forum which is more "daily" support oriented. It is located at http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums.

There are a lot of people on there who have BP and they can give you a lot of advice and support - there are people your age as well as older, so you can get a lot of opinions. It is a very active board - they check in with one another every day.

Good luck.