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My husband had a severe psychotic (delusional, paranoid, etc.) episode 3 years ago that lasted for 5 months. He has been on meds ever since (15mg abilify). He has consistently wanted to reduce the dosage. Prior to the episode, he was very agitated, had a high level of energy, abused alcohol and smoked heavily. It was 2 weeks after he quit smoking that the episode occurred. The 15mg kept him pretty well stablized, although he did drink alcohol every day. In Jan of this year, he began experiencing severe stress and his behavior changed. I felt as if I meant nothing, his sleep was erratic (up all hours) and he was fixated on science (reading, doing problems, etc.). He also started nicotine again (chewing tobacco). He has been completely agitated and while at times I feel like he is back, his behavior suddenly changes. It ranges from needing little sleep, sleeping a lot, being agitated, having high enery to having none. His pdoc increased his meds (which is a constant battle to get him to take them). He thinks he's fine - in fact, he insists there is nothing wrong with him and that everything I point to is my fault. He has been taking his meds (now 25mg), but it's off and on as he changes his dose until I fight with him (sometimes for days). I have shown him what is wrong. Our debt is outrageous and he at times seems to ignore it. Still, he's not sick. He puts on an act at the dr's and blames me for the increase. He says I'm manipulating the dr through my expressions. He also says and does the cruelest things to me. It has been almost 7 months now and I am having a very difficult time with this, especially since I do not know how he'll be on a day to day basis. Any advice in convincing someone who is sick that they have a problem would be greatly appreciated.
I dont know if I am of any help but I have been going through the exact samething. I just kicked my husband out last Wed. of course he says he left on his own but that is not true. He was and is at times so hateful and mean to me. He has had an affair years ago and now I caught him txting, chatting and calling other women again and I just wont deal with it. I am a wreck as well but it is nice to know someone else realizes what I am going through. I am sorry you are dealing with this too. My husband doesnt take his meds either I guess in his mind it is kind of hard too when he doesnt have a problem, HA! I do feel some better now that he is gone but I miss him, not the man I lived with last week but the man I fell in love with. I just want him to come home and be normal, but I am afraid that will never happen. I have turned it over to God and I cannot believe the amount of peace I have. YOu hang in there and do what is right for you, I know that is hard and I know you are thinking I have no idea what is right for me. But you have to take care of you..I FINALLY learned that. Blessings to you, Bren
I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through. I understand the absolute heartache you are feeling. It's very hard knowing the person you married is in there, but acting so differently - hurting you in ways that are so uncharacteristic, yet not admitting anything is wrong. In my case, I focus all my energy on persuading him to take his meds. It's heart wrenching and I am in a constant state of panic. It sounds like you're past that point. Sometimes, and I'm not sure if you have this happen, it seems as if he's there - back to normal. It could be an hour or more or even a day. I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there - have faith.
I just found out my wife has a bipolar disorder. She refuses to accept her diagnosis (although it was made years ago before I even met her), currently blames me for everything, and refuses to take any medicine at this stage. I'm having real trouble with it and it's particularly difficult to find good advice where I live in Argentina. If you received any practical advice for your original question or found other websites that helped you with how to deal with this type of refusal/denial, I'd be really grateful if you'd share them with me. You can get me at bipolarhelp@sharpersites.com . Thanks, and you are NOT alone, --Max
Posts: 1 | Location: Argentina | Registered: 08-30-2008
Hi Max. I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through. This is an agonizing situation for which the sufferer does not realize s/he is creating. I have searched and searched through the internet and bought many books. The best resource I found was I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help! : Anna-Lica Johanson Ph.D., Xavier Amador (Paperback, 2006)
ISBN-10 : 0967718929 ; ISBN-13 : 9780967718927
Once I started reading it, I could not put it down. I completely understand what you are going through and the pain you feel and my heart goes out to you. It tears you apart, but be as strong as you can. You will get through this. You must realize that your wife needs your strength, trust and devotion. Your primary focus should be medication, however you are able to convince her to take them or seek help. Building her trust and confidence in you is what the book advises. You must not take any hurtful comments seriously. I wish you the best of luck. This is a dreadful illness - one that many do not understand.
