Bipolar Depression

Hi,

I've been recently diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar I disorder. Eight years ago I was diagnosed with Anxiety(OCD) disorder and put on anti-depressants, but that was just the tip of the ice-berg. The anti-depressants just agrivated the bipolar, which I didn't know I had...and well I just went up and down and did a whole bunch of crazy things for the next eight years. The term "mood swing" took on a whole new meaning with me. I was reckless, either because I thought I was invinsible or because I had a death wish...depending on the mood that had a hold of me at the time. My depression is not what I fear most, I have always sought out the professional help I needed to pull me out of that... it's my mania...it's when I'm most detructive to myself and my life. The effects are always long term and often I don't realize I'm manic. I can't even begin to explain the havoc I wreaked in my life...but at least I've stopped....for now...

My favorite novel of all times is Tai Pan. I will not tell you the story but I will tell you one of the most useful things I have ever learned from a book.

The main character, THE Tai Pan, was a powerful businessman in early Hong Kong. Whenever he felt the time was not right to make a decision, he told the other person that he was going to take some time before deciding. Once I stopped feeling like I had to make an instant decision, I stopped making the REALLY impulsive ones.

I make it a policy never to make major decisions if I am sick, really tired or if it is a REALLY big decision. Tai Pan would tell people "I will give you an answer on Friday." That type of answer does not allow indefinate non-decision making, just a chance to gather your thoughts and information.

Tell yourself "I take care of myself."