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Okay, I think I may be having mixed symptoms again. I am severely depressed still but now I am very anxious and for almost 2 weeks I haven't slept well.
It is not that I have a decreased need for sleep, I just haven't been to bed before 1am in almost 2 weeks and the Klonopin, though taking larger doses when someone allows me to have them (the ativan thingy a few days ago, we won't digress...) is not helping me at all.
In addition, my daughter who has been my soul supporter through all this though only 10 is now having anxiety attacks and crying spells as well because she has been a witness to a lot of my pain and struggle.
I can barely look after me much less her right now and I feel like a evil horriable mother. I'm worried about her now.
Oh and I am overeating and having racing thoughts and ideas but still very depressed and often suicidal.
Is this what is called "mixed" and I don't like how it feels and I just can't seem to sleep and once I do fall asleep I awake really early - then the Lithium I take makes me extremely drowsy and I find I am falling off asleep during the odd times of the day.
And yes, often when I speak my topics change from time to time and yet I can barely get out of bed and all is darkness and void of light and hope.
I'm a newcomer to this sight. I'm not a doctor, an expert or anything that falls into any catagory whatsoever, other than I suffer from rapid cycling BP disorder, with a dash of anxiety(OCD) and they had a hard time with meds for me. I suffered from severe mood swings that went from hypo-manic, manic, depression, severe anxiety and sometimes rage. Basically, I count on anti-seizure medications. One acts as a mood stableizer and the other is for my depression. Using anti-convulsants are new and controversal meds for treating bipolar and they don't have any conclusive testing research out on this. So I'm NOT recommending you run out and try this. I'm just saying that they are coming up with newer treatments every day so there is always hope.
KEEP in mind medication takes quit a while to work and sometimes you feel worse before you feel better. Even with my meds I would experience high peaks of anxiety and agitation before leveling off, even if they simply upped my dose 25mg.
I have also heard that Ativan can sometimes act as a depressant. I don't know if this is correct but it might be something to ask your doctor.
Maybe it would help for your daughter to have some outside support(there might be something you can access through the site). It's obvious how much you cherish her. Hang in there.
i am a 33yo. female, with bipolar and i get mood swings to. i am looking for someone who can tell me where i can find a support group in cali. i want to talk to somebody about my bipolar. so can u help me
please help me. i have bipolar and mannnic explosine. i yell and hit my bf for no reason at all. i get these bad thoughs in my head and i yell at him for it. can u please
Dear Marie, It sounds like you might be having a mixed episode. Maybe it would help to get your medication adjusted. I also struggle with raising three children and having bipolar.My 9 year old son has bipolar also.All we can do is to do the best that we can for our children, to try to stay as stable as possible,and to seek out others to help parent the children;ie. friends or family members or spouse. Just like you, I think I might be having a mixed episode because I am super hyper, can't sleep much, and have spent a lot of money on dumb things in the last two weeks, yet am still feeling exhausted, discouraged and depressed. On Monday I am going to see my psydoc to see if they can adjust my medication.I don't know if it will help, but I have to try something before I really crash. I hope you feel better soon. Remember, you care about and love your daughter and that counts for a lot. Take care. Caileigh
