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I DO NOT ENDORSE OR ENCOURAGE THIS TO ANYONE WHATSOEVER. I DO THIS ON MY OWN TO ME SELF. Just wanted to be clear on that first and foremost.
I am quitting my meds. Haven't had a lithium since Thursday morning (it is now Saturday) and haven't had a Klonopin since Wednesday evening.
Russian Roulette you say? Quite possibly but I've felt so utterly bad for so utterly long now (most who've gone to the boards know this) and the Pdocs don't seem to give a ((##** except to shove another pill down my throat that I can't tolerate. Worse yet, I won't see the new one for almost 3 weeks and in the meantime I'm to continue feeling bad.
So, I've gone cold turkey I think the lingo is. Right or wrong I just can't take this anymore. Either I'll worsen as told by the social workers at the hospital in March or perhaps, God willing, I might have another hypo/mania spell.
At least for a while, if that happens, I'll feel alive again - then the depression and darkness will settle in again but hey - I'll feel alive if not but for a brief moment.
I sympathize with your choice and hope it works out for you. I would probably do the same thing in your situation. I tend to stop a drug that seems to be doing me harm w/o waiting for a doc to say it's OK. I'm not recommending this to anyone else, either.
A friend of mine heard that I was not on any bipolar medication and stopped taking her lithium, thinking she would manage without as well. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for her. Some of us do need to be on meds in order to avoid severe mania or depression. I'm lucky that I've been managing OK so far. And the reason I stopped the lithium was because of symptoms that mimicked heart problems. (My pdoc did approve, also.)
I feel your desperation, Marie, and hope you get some relief. But it sounds like what you may need is a better coctail of meds rather than no meds? I hope your new pdoc will be able to work with you to find a solution.
