Bipolar Depression

I hired this highly experienced secretary about 10 years ago. Excellent references. Extremely capable in the office. A self starter and go getter type. Immediately improved our profits. Her personal life was troublesome - at age 30 divorced twice, rumors she'd had multiple extramarital affairs and one night stands. But she was obviously a devoted mother of two good litle boys, school high achievers, athletes, student government, a great mom.

I knew her from high school years before. High acheiver. Blue collar parents (alcoholics, divorced). She'd been "head of household" since age 13. very responsible. Straight A student. School clubs leader. 2d place in our small town annual beauty pageant - paid for her own pageant gown because her alcoholic parents were broke. She was college material, brilliant, but the school system tracked her into the clerical worker soon as possible direction. She was working half days as a legal assistant in a good law firm her junior year high school.

Married one and only high school sweatheart month after high school graduation. Got a full time job at another good law firm. Within one month after her wedding her 32 year old boss made a pass on her in the supply closet, just a kiss. Two hours later she was upstairs with him in her first wall banging affair sex experience.
She says she felt like a child being molested by this older man - and she loved the power and the affirmation he gave her. Soon she was doing the same with his law partner. Smart girl who can keep a husband, and two affairs in the same office, separate and managed.

Flash forward 11 years, the day I hired her. My golden rule was no hanky panky between coworkers. An elderly lawyer warned me "Start fishing off the company dock, and soon she no longer works for you, you work for her!" I made clear this was a work relationship, a team between us, that I hired her because she was undoubtably the most capable legal assistant within 100 mile radius. She was too.

I was young and dumb, had no understanding of the danger of emotional relationships in the office. She made my work thrive. We worked late often. No sex, but, we gradually become each other's closest confidant. I gave her guy advice. She gave me chick advice. She told me her life stories too, dysfunctional childhood family, multiple affairs and one nighters as an adult, details, her tricks to sneak away, her tactics upon returning home (offense is the best defense), she told me her life story. I told her mine too. She should write a book. Sex sells books.

We both dated elsewhere .... platonic between us, until, it happened ... the first accidental kiss. We were hanging and banging 20 minutes after that kiss. Sex between two people who've invested a few years becoming best friends and confidants is wonderful sex. We agree "friends with benefits" never the four letter L word.

She was engaged already to future husband #3, a nice guy, hunter and fisher like me, we even bought a fishing boat together. He and I became friends. I was screwing his wife to be. Three days after their wedding she called me, she was disturbed about something. She was pregnant. Had gone off the pill months earlier because husband #3 wanted a child. Two weeks before the wedding she and I had sex while the groom was off on his bachelor party at the stripper bars. She asked me to cum in her and I did. Very erotic.

Her new husband had not ejaculated in her for months. Only me. Probably my baby. Heavy thoughts. Two years later H#3 was going nuts, abusive, drinking uncontrollably, rage ... surely I rationalized its not the ongoing affair his wife is having with me behind his back. One day he punched me out, packed up, filed for divorce, put out death threats, began stalking me - he was over the edge. He never came back. DNA tests showed 99.99% our child was mine, 05.99% he was the father.

I moved into her house, into h#3's spot, his closet and drawers, his bathroom, his role in her life. I thought heaven on earth had arrived. Our affair relationship had been incredible, beautiful, perfect, two plus years.

EVERYTHING CHANGED ABRUPTLY WHEN H#3 LEFT AND I MOVED INTO HIS ROLE! Within weeks I felt sorry for the guy, really bad. He filed suit against me for alienation of affections, wanted $50,000 cash and our boat. I hired several top lawyers and won the lawsuit - felt bad for him. Still feel bad. Saw him once in a courthouse, tried to talk, he said "NO" and kept walking.

2 years later we married - three weeks after she snuck off for a weekend of sex with some new guy she'd met. He talked a big story - she realized he was a con man when she saw he was using his sisters credit card. He was broke. All bluff. She runs back to me, says please marry me, I had to know for sure. Three weeks later we married.

6 years now we've been married. Moved to a city. Got separate jobs. In 2005 I am reasonably certain she had a repeat of her past, fooling around at work for about 5 months. Having been her affair partner when she was married to H#3, and she having told me all her cheating tactics years before when we were just platonic - I saw what I saw - same behaviors. It hurt like hell. Yet it was fascinating to see her behaviors from the husband role instead of the affair partner role.

She finally went to a psychiatrist. Bipolar disorder, spectrum disorder really, with occasional angry yet party mood manic phases. That's when she hooks up outside the marriage.

She said I am bipolar. Her doctor recommended a doctor for me. Turns out I am bipolar. Adhd too, combined type. Who is more bipolar?

I say she is. She says I am. Only God knows.

Tired of typing. This is a background post. I have some current questions to post later.

Hope our story is fun to read.