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Hello all. I am new to this board. I have been dating a man for over one year now and it has been quite a year. We are both grown adults with professional careers. I am a divorced mother and he is a single man. He was very honest with me pretty early on in our relationship about having BP. We had some ups and downs with medication adjustments but for the most part had a great line of communication and understanding not to mention repsect for the situation. That was all just until recently. He decided after the holidays to dump all of his meds unbeknownst to anyone including his father whom is extremely close with concerning this subject. He got out of control pretty rapidly and instead of going up and feeling great, he went down and down hard. He said some pretty mean things, etc., etc. He is back on all meds now and is coming out of this episode but I feel like all of my trust in him has been broken and I don't know how to get it back. I have a young son to worry about. He has apologized, came clean with his father, his doctor and everyone else. He has realized that has not respected this illness in the past and has set some very high goals for himself that include me, his family and his doctor. However, I can't get over this and I don't know how to rebuild the trust. Thanks for listening.
Its a cycle, and it will happen again and again and again. And it will get worse each time! I suggest you walk away now before you invest too much emotion in it. You have a child to think about? At first youll be putting his needs in front of yours and eventually in front of your childs. Dont let it get to that. Please walk away now!!
But isn't that letting "IT" win? I have lost two very important people in my life to diseases that I COULD NOT control, i.e. Cancer, but this one with some work and dedication is managable. Isn't that worth the fight. If everyone just simple gave up on a loved one with this illness wouldn't that be somewhat cruel? What if you were diagnosed tomorrow. Would you want your husband or wife to leave you or would you want them to fight WITH you? Just a good question to put out there.
I hear what youre saying...believe me I do!! Youre not giving up, youve been defeated! you are not in control of this one, never have been. you are only along for the ride. Of course you should stay and fight, I did too, and I still would be if he were still alive...
Its hard I know, and it will get harder, please stay strong no matter what you decide!
do you have an email address I can contact you if you want?
Thank you for your kind words. You have no idea how helpful they are right now. Not too much longer after I posted my last post the proverbial AX came down on me again. One month to the day that he did it last time. Yes, I have given up on this. I am smart enough and wise enough when to throw in the towel. I can't risk seeing disappointment in my son's eyes and I can't stand the pain anymore. I have given all I can give and I don't have anymore left in me. My son was too young to remember me and his father (my ex-husband) together which of course is a blessing in disguise but this he knows. A relationship was formed there and it is going to be difficult to tell him but I will wing it. He is only 3.5, not old enough for the WHOLE truth. I could certainly use someone to talk to. I have endured the loss of both of my parents during my teenage years and the loss of my only grandmother during my pregnancy so I have gained a lot of strength and knowledge during my 31.5 years of life but this has thrown me for a loop. I feel strong most of the time but then when I least expect it I get hit with that waive of sadness that I cannot control. I think the sadness is part just plain old sadness for the loss of the relationship and part feeling like I have been beaten again by something I can't control. Is there anywhere to give you my email address without posting it for the free world to see? If so, I would love to talk. Thank You.
