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I have been dating someone... "Mike" for almost a year. Mike's father is bipolar. Mike is 26 and he told me a few months ago he was being watched for being bipolar. I tiptoe around the subject, letting him tell me when he wants to, but never asking him about it (i feel like I am prying).
I see Mike 3 - 4 times a week. This past week Friday and Saturday were great. He was telling me stuff that made me think the relationship was getting deep.
This past Tuesday night he came over to spend the night. We hung out, had a few drinks and had sex. After we were sitting on the couch talking. I told him about an incident in the gym, that day, where a guy came over to me while I was on a weight machine and said "Looking good". I relayed the story to tell him how uncomfortable it made me because the guy just kept staring and wouldn't move. Almost immediately after I told him this, he said we need to stop doing this relationship. I asked him if this decision was premeditated. He said no that he had just got a vibe. He brought up me loading the dishwasher (I did that as soon as we got home) when I should have been visiting with him. He brought up me washing myself (we were having sex n I thought I smelled funny). He literally was going to walk home but I made him stay.
The next morning when I asked him for some closure on our relationship... what made him decide to end it, he replied that "I just don't have the passion anymore" I have noticed in the last few days, while talking on the phone, he has seemed kind of down. He also has periods of very obvious mania. He has admitted to me in the past that he self medicates.
Is this typical bipolar behavior? To just dump someone, who you proclaimed your love for a few days earlier, out of nowhere, because you had a vibe?
This is VERY typical of a bipolar person. My BPSO would be totally in love with me in one breath and just know that I am cheating on him in the next breath.
He would drive me crazy with telling me how much he loved me and how wonderful I was. But when I would do something that would bother him, he would go into how horrible I was a partner, how I never supported him (although I TOTALLY supported him, financially, emotionally etc.) It is a very personal decision on wether you want to stay with him or not, but please know that although you may have some wonderful times, this type of behavior will continue and may get worse.
I am 43 years old and have been divorced 4 times. A little over 3 weeks ago I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This is very similar to the way that I used to act.
I am not all knowing and all seeing, but based on my own experience, if your boyfriend was honest, he would admit that he knows the way he is reacting to this situation is wrong.
You see, when I would do this in my relationships, it was out of self preservation. The idea of the guy at the gym giving you a compliment creates a fight or flight reaction in your boyfriends, probably bipolar, brain. He of course if making a much bigger deal out of this than he should.
He knows it, trust me, but he cannot help it. I am sure that he loves you dearly. If he truly is bipolar, there is an automatic record player that turned on when you told the story about the gym, that said "run, or she is going to hurt you, and you know how you act and react when your hurt. It is just too painful and she wouldn't understand. Nobody understands, so how could she. You know that you would rather leave now, than spend alot of time in this relationship, love her alot and then she hurts you!"
If you think that there is any way of this working, please try to convince him that he needs to be on some type of medication for his mood swings.
I lost my fince of 2 1/2 years three months ago to this very same type of behavior. It was just bigger than I was, I could not control it. I of course did not know that I was bipolar. Now that I am on a mood stabilizer, I no longer think the way that I used to. It is like night and day, literally.
I lost my fince, who I love dearly, and may never see again on this earth because of this. If you care for this guy, and really want to make it work, it can. If he'll just admit that he needs some help. He needs to know that it is O.K. to admit that and that it does not make him weak.
Thanks guys... I feel better. It has been a week and I haven't seen him. I am supposed to see him tonight but just to give some stuff back. This is the third time he has done this so 3 strikes he's out...
