Bipolar Depression

I was just diagnosed with being a Bipolar on July 1, 2009. My life has been a nightmare for my wife and son. My family and friends have been through a though time also. Well, to fill you in. My wife went out on June 16, 2009 and got an attorney for divorce proceedings. I found that out by accident. I forgot that she and my son went on a coast trip over the weekend a few weeks ago. Total blanked out on me. I freaked out and panicked, so to figure where they where? I did something I have never done to my wife in 13 years. I went and read her email to maybe find an idea where they went off too? While I was looking through email addresses, I saw a name I never seen before. It was a divorce attorney. I freaked out! So, to cover myself and try to keep getting blindsided? I dug deeper and found a letter (not knowing I was never was supposed to see it)
thinking it was the real deal? It was a venting letter. But it said all types of cold stuff about my behavior and feelings toward my son and wife. My wife is not a cold and heartless person. So at the present time. My wife and my son went on a 2 week vacation trip away and she actually was setting me up for the divorce at this time. What she wanted was for me to find a job, and to pack my stuff up and be gone by the time they returned. Sort of? I got laid off back in November 2008. The economy killed me there. I went into a depression and did not start coming out of it, till last month. I could not function, nor could I deal socially with all the activities, camping, etc. My life was falling all around me, and I could not snap out of whatever I was dealing with. So, before my wife could pull the trigger on me this month, luckily my new doctor caught my problem? Got me on the right medication and told me to stop trying to tell my wife everything in my head. My wife has had enough. My wife even said she does not love me anymore. But, I think since she told me the day she left on her vacation with my son. She told me to not do anything stupid and to get out and visit with my friends and family. I also started walking a few miles each day in the mornings. How can I help my marriage? Now that my wife actually is seeing what really had happened for our whole marriage? I was the only love of her life, then all of sudden, I am cold, distant, uncommunicative. Financially in turmoil at the present time. She wants me to get a normal job, just something to help out with the regular bills. She also wants me to get back to my hobbies, some sort of activity for myself. ???? what do i think? I can't trust her? I don't know, weather to grab a job to help out, but something I can walk away from, if she files for divorce? It is so devastating to me inside, to loose my family. I would not be able to stay in the same town or maybe even state. I don't know what to do. I am really trying to not crack up here.

First of all, the fact that you are admitting things that you need to change and are indeed WILLING to do is fantastic. Most bipolar partners are not nearly as open or put as much effort or concern into salvaging their lives. Your wife loves you, so your care and effort will mean so much more than you think it will. I say put everything into your relationship. Be honest with your wife and family and tell them that you want to change and will do whatever it takes to keep them because you love them.

Almost most importantly, you need to make sure that you are on proper meds and (I think is still even too underrated) counseling. There are just some things that will be harder for you to control than other people. since this is new to both of you, going through it together will not only mend your relationship and bring you closer but will really do a world of good in dealing with BP. Like me and mine, most BP couples have many issues with dealing with it TOGETHER.

I know it seems hard sometimes, especially now. But you are not as far off from a great turn around as you seem. I know you can do this.