Bipolar Depression

Hi All- I posted two pages back when I recently "figured out" that my husband HAS GOT TO BE bipolar.
Well, things have gotten worse. Hes deployed still, last week he freaked out on me over nothing, as usual, and called me every horrible name he could think of and threatened me as well. I saved the voicemails he sent me just in case I needed to use them...
Friday he tried to committ suicide with me on the phone with him. Luckily, one of the guys he was with intervened before he could get to any weapons. Now he is being sent back to his original base to be evaluated, has been labeled as "mentally unstable". His father is working on getting him sent home to the states.
Right now he is VERY depressed. All of his actions have finally caught up to him, and he has to suffer the consequences of his up and down moods, and threats. If he comes back to the states, I'd like to come see him, but am afraid of his threats. I know that he threatened me while being extremely angry, and now he has apologized profusely, crying, saying he never meant to threaten me and he would never harm me.
He's at a very low point right now, and hasn't said much. He allowed me to talk to him and "vent" about everything im concerned about yesterday, which only succeeded in making him cry and hang up the phone. I had a normal conversation with him on the phone last night. Things seem to be okay for now. He wont accept that he is bipolar until he is diagnosed (which makes sense)...but cant get help/be diagnosed until he gets back to the states. He SAYS he is willing to do whatever it takes to get help. Right now he doesnt know what he has, he used to say he just had anger issues and depression, but deep inside i think he knows the problem is more severe than that.
His parents are FINALLY stepping in to get him help (they have ties to the militarY). His mom called me up and made me SO angry saying "well, you knew before you got married, we tried to warn you...dont you remember?" NO. I remember his mom saying something about deployments being hard while being married, and something about my husband not being good with finances (which is not true, he is very good with money.) Not once did she ever say she suspected he had a mental disorder that would make my life hell for the next 2 years. Now she just wants off the hook and doesnt want to feel guilty that she never intervened. His parents have known he's had this for a very long time and they chose to "sit back and let things play out..." at risk of their son blowing his brains out because he has access to weapons at the drop of a hat..... Maybe its just me, but if MY son was the one who had a mental disorder and i knew it, i would do everything in my power to get him help. His mom belives he has BP, but has done nothing up until now...basically says "hes your problem now."
I love my husband more than anything in the world. When he is calm, he is the sweetest, kindest, most loving man ever. When he blows up (over nothing)...its as though he is possessed by a demon, no joke.
Now im in limbo, waiting to see whether he is coming back to the states, or staying where he is at....