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My husband and I have been married for 17 yrs. He was diagnosed about 4 yrs ago of bipolar. Since Sept he came to me and told me he doesn't know if he really ever loved me. He only married me because it was the next step in our lives and he knew I would be a good wife and mother. We have had problems in the last 4 yrs. He had an emotional affair on me. We moved to a new location for a new job for him. He deceided he wanted to start a new business for himself and now we are facing financial trouble. He is very good friends with some women he just met when we moved down here. He texts them all the time and feels it is no big deal. He tells them he loves them and missed them but he doesn't tell me any of this. He has had in the past two months at least 2 manic episodes that were the worse. He has had some in hte past but just not as bad. He is on medicine and we will be seeing his doc at the end of the week because he did mention about taking his own life and of course i was scared. My questions are: how do I deal with this? Is it possible he does love me and it is his bipolar talking? I need some guidance and questions to take into the dr office with me. I am tired of living like this. We have 3 small kids and thank God they havent seen how he acts. I want the best for my kids but I want to help my husband. I do love him and really can't imagine living with out him. So can someone please help me. Thanks
My experience (which you can read about in many other postings on this forum by clicking on my name and reading recent posts) is that after my wife gradually moved into the bipolar world on a full time basis over 20 years, I was no longer able to distinguish her bipolar personality from the "original" one I knew.
While this may not be what you want to hear, I found I could only take whatever personality she offered at face value. I was unable to read into her statements and personality beyond that. I found no point in trying to attribute whatever she was doing and saying to bipolar. When she left, telling me I was the cause of her problems, I had no choice but to believe her and proceed with my life from there.
While I tried to figure it all out as you are doing now, I found I couldn't. She was what she was, she is what she is. The only thing I could control was my reaction and my life.
