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I just found out too - this past Wed when my husband was put on short term leave from his job. We have been together 7 years, married for almost 5. The problems began with what seemed like depression, We split up in 2005 and he went ballistic, wiping out the bank account and the contents of our house when I was at work, then got a lawyer to divorce me. It was awful. I had to get a lawyer too and when he got the filing for a separation the anger escalated. I had to get a restrining order and stopped talking to him because he was so hateful. Then after 3 months, right before our first court date, I called him, and he was back to the old husband - caring and nice again. So we reconciled in Jan 06. He revealed to me that he had an affair while we were separated - one week after he got the papers, he called an old girlfriend who slept with him even though she knew he had only been separated a week. It hurt me but I wanted so bad for our marriage to work that I forgave him and insisted on counseling again (we had counseling before but the therapist said she couldn't help us because he wouldn't speak or participate). The new psychologist (a man) wanted to see him separately so I wasn't involved this time. He also saw a psychiatrist who prescribed Lexapro, an anti-depressant. After 2 months he felt better and things were ok but he quit taking it and then another big fight happened. When I found out he had stopped taking the medication, it made sense to me why he was so mean. He went back on it in October and took it regularly. Well in Jan of this year things started to get bad again. He became very aggressive and fought with me often. He started to sleep less and less, about 3-4 hours whereas before he would sleep 10-12 hours for days at a time. Then he started working all the time and getting into arguments with his co-workers and bosses. And of course me. I asked to go to the psychologist with him and he made me wait 2 more sessions (another month). When I went the psychologist told me that I had violated my husband's trust by throwing him out of the house the first time we split up. I was really shocked and told the psychologist some of the things he had done to me, including the affair, which was news to the psychologist. He said that there were some issues we needed to discuss and told us to come back in 2 more weeks. But my husband was so mad that I "told on him" that things got really bad and threatening. I didn't know it at the time but he was on a high, the mania brought on by the anti-depressant I guess. I finally couldn't take it any more and told him I wanted a divorce. Didn't throw him out but he was mad anyway and I had to call the police several times. Now his doctor won't respond to my calls - says my husband is his patent and he can't talk to me. Also his parents, who he is living with I guess, blame me for everything. They haven't talked to me since the first time we split up. The only reason I found out he lost his job was because the HR Manager called my house during the work incident. He jumped up on a filing cabinet and was threatening everyone. The HR Mgr also told me she thought he should be hospitalized but his psychologist wouldn't admit him. He called me this weekend, rambling, yelling at me - told me that his psychiatrist prescribed Respiradal, but that he wasn't going to take it. Said he felt focused on the anti-depressant and everyone were liars. Also told me he got into a fight in a bar the night before and got cited by the police. I am really afraid he is going to hurt me or someone else or himself and I am frustrated because no one is helping him! And I am not allowed to talk with his doctors. I met with a lawyer last week but that was before I found out about the new med, which suggests to me that his doctors may think he is bipolar. And now I am confused - I feel bad for wanting a divorce if he is sick but I can't help him. This is no way to live and I am afraid it will be more of the same for years to come. Even though he may be diagnosed now, how long will it take for him to get help? It will be too late for our marriage I think. Has anyone had similar experiences with the doctors not allowing the wife to be part of the treatment process?
Yes, I have had the problem w/ the doc's not talking with me. Also know that I'm an HR Manager.
I have to believe you're writing from the USA, where we have this wonderful law called HIPPA. This law makes it impossible for docs to provide us with any information aboaut their patient. There are ways around it, but you have to be very savy.
Know that you can tell them anything you want to. They will listen. Tell them the things you wrote in your post, but first tell them you want this documented. In other words, you mean business. Tell them you believe he's bipolar and you can ask them not to reveal this to him at his next visit. Read up on the symptons of bipolar, and then be able to tell them the specific things he's said/done that correlate to the symptoms. Find out if he has any family history of this (i.e. mom, dad, sibling).
If you live together and have the same phone number, tell them you want them to leave messages on his home phone # of next appts.
When time is right have him sign an authorization with his doc's office that allows them to communicate with you regarding his progress, issues, etc. I wish I had done this b/c now I'm playing the "HIPPA game". They know I'm an HR Manager and that I know how to get around the law. Luckily, they play the game very well with me. Unfortunately, my BP SO is still very manic and not doing well at all. Read my other posts under "Do I Leave or Do I Stay" and you'll see what I'm talking about.
With the recent Virginia Tech Tragedy, there's been a lot of talk about doing something about the HIPPA laws when it relates to mental illness. I hope they do something to change it b/c it's a law designed to protect patients that are able to protect themselves. It's not designed to protect sick mentally ill patients that can't protect themselves.
I'm not a lawyer, but can play the HIPPA laws pretty well - both personally and professionally. Please let me know if you have any other questions.
Dear Simone, please read my posts under what now? in the General Discussion bit as your story sounds so much like my own... You are being very brave and I understand your frustration about getting help for your husband especially when family members and Doctors don't want to help you. All you can do is not give up.
Karen, I agree with everything you are saying. Here in the UK we have issues with the Human Rights Act which makes getting help for my husband near on impossible but I too have had to use slightly cunning methods to get my point across. I have sent emails to my husband's Psychiatrist copying in various higher authorities so they know that I too mean business. Even if they don't discuss things with you it will be noted somewhere. I'm not sure how it works in the US but I have managed to have it recorded on the Police National Computer that my husband is Bipolar and hence if he is stopped by the POlice again they will know to deal with him as mental health patient rather than a criminal - I can only hope. I have tried to find out who is dealing with my husband's case and I bombard them constantly with information that I keep on discovering. Making a list of all the behaviour that my husband has demonstrated under specific headings has really helped. I too was freaked out by what happened in Virginia as my husband has been waving around a airgun since last year. He also shocked me on a trip to Vagas last year when he insisted on going to shoot real guns twice. I have aslo found loads of sharp knives while I have been packing up our house and life.
Sorry that I can't be specific about the US but it seems that getting help seems to be the same the world over. Good luck all of you and take care.
I'm very sorry for what you are all going through. I know how difficult and frustrating this must be, especially since you must sit by helplessly and watch. I know it's especially difficult watching a family member go through this.
I want to make a comment or two though. As one of those "mentally ill patients" out there in the world, I'm personally deeply grateful for HIPPA laws. I am just as much entitled to medical privacy as the next person no matter what my diagnosis is. If you are concerned about needing access to your family member's doctors during a crisis, it's possible to have them sign a confidentiality waiver that gives you access to their medical records and doctors. I realize this is difficult if it's the first time a crisis has occurred, but if it is truly an emergency, then doctors and courts are able to put someone on a psych hold. HIPPA is just too important to mess around with because some things, such as the right to privacy and respect, are just too important and no one should be made a second-class citizen.
What this borders on is discriminations. People believe that those with "mental illness" (I hate that term by the way, it's rather derogatory these days) are dangerous and violent and therefore should be watched more closely so we can lock them up easier. That is what is happening with the Viriginia Tech shootings and the hype around mental illness, right? Real, factual research shows that people with mental illness without substance abuse issues are NO MORE dangerous than average people with no substance abuse issues. Someone with mental illness and comorbid substance abuse is more likely to be violent, BUT (and this is a big BUT) so is someone without mental illness who has substance abuse. More importantly, the person with mental illness and substance abuse is NO MORE dangerous than the average person with substance abuse issues (hence the REAL problem is substance abuse, NOT mental illness). Yes, tragedies like Virginia Tech are horrible, and I really wish someone could have helped that young man before it was too late, but violating the civil rights of millions of innocent people because we want to go on an unvalidated witch hunt is unjust.
(I thought I'd also mention that, while we're no more likely to perpetuate crimes than the average person, we are two and a half times more likely to be victims of violent crime. Now that's crazy.)
This message has been edited. Last edited by: anonbp,
It has been over 4 years since I came home to find wife of nearly 20 years moving out. Explanation: "I am moving out and I want a divorce". I am just now feeling recovered - sort of.
What the heck is going on I think? I did not understand bipolar nor had even heard of it. (Now ex) wife was later diagnosed as bipolar only after 3 suicide attempts over the next 9 months. The most amazing thing was the lengths she had gone to to lie about me to relatives, friends, doctors, lawyers, and others in planning it all. It was apparent she had enlisted many of them to make it look like I was abusive to both her and our teenage daughter. The legal tactics of intimidation by friends and family could best be described as horrific. The natural bias of the legal system understandably gives the benefit of the doubt to the accuser. Yet what if the accuser is mentally ill and making it up? Who checks on that possibility?
After trying to reconcile for several months, I gave up and called her best friend and closest relative to see if they would possibly agree she had a mental health problem. They insisted she was totally sane and it was me who had the problem. At that point I had to make the hard decision. File for divorce first. After much trauma (stories are much too long for here - even though I want to write more details I won't) and court ordered mental exams of me ( I passed and am certified sane), I now have custody of both children and she rarely contacts them any more. She has lost two jobs and is on short term disability and about to go on SSI long term. She has been hospitalized several times. One suicide attempt resulted in loss of memory and near inability to live on own. Yet the mental health system still gives her the right to choose her treatment. Allows her to self medicate. Allows her to live alone with no one checking on her well being. Over the long term her care is likely to fall on our children!
It has taken me over 4 years to begin to feel normal again. New relationship. Kids doing well.
As I think back however, I find that one of the most interesting things is to be able to point to past events and behaviors that now seem bizarre. (Many are described here by others) Yet at the time I assumed them to be normal and thought it was me that was mentally ill! What a revelation! At the time these things were happening, I thought them normal and me insane! I wasn't!!!!! I was normal!!!!!
It was such a slow and gradual process that I am now unable to distinguish the person I loved from the person with the mental illness. Was the person I loved not nice? Or did the mental illness make the person I loved not nice? I have no idea what the answers to those 2 questions are.
My advice to those of you with seriously bipolar spouses is hard and possibly not what you want to hear. You are very unlikely to succeed in helping to make this person well. Your own well being is threatened by their mental illness. The well being of your children is threatened by the mental illness of your spouse. As hard-hearted as it seems, your best course is probably to get out of the relationship for your own well being and the well being of your children. Get on with your life. Make life good for your kids. You will feel good again. But it takes a lot of time and some other caring people in your life.
I agree with everything you've posted. I've been getting out of my relationship w/ my BP SO and have been posting regularly on "Do I Leave or Do I Stay?" part of this forum.
Although it's been only a few months for me, I get stronger each day. I no longer feel like I'm the person w/ mental illness. My self-esteem is recovering every day, in part due to a new man in my life and a new job that I start on Monday. I had to leave my last job partly due to my BP SO and the stress he caused me.
I hope that someday I, too, can distinguish the person I loved from the person with mental illness. But I also realized that I wasn't going to make him well b/c he wasn't willing to take care of himself. It was destroying me, us, and the relationships with everyone we know. He, too, convinced others that everything was my fault. Although I know that's not true, it's hard to face these people who believe the horrible lies he told them about me.
Your advice is dead on. The divorce rate is 90+% for people w/ BP. We can all relate to why that statistic is so high. The cheating, lying, spending, bizarre behavior, suicide attempts, dark depression, etc. It's so hard for us to "get on w/ our life", but once we try and succeed, it's so worth it!!
Thanks for your kind comments. It has been very difficult for me and for my kids. They are strong though and are learning to cope with their mom. In my case, I find that the less contact the better. In spite of not wanting a divorce and not wanting to be apart, I had to accept the fact that I could be no help. NOthing I could do. I had to be strong for my kids and to make a good life. Even though it really isnt the one I was figuring to have. The kindness of so many people was critical. I found out that I had many more friends than i ever imagined who tried so hard to make things good by getting me thinking about dating people, finding outlets for me for interactions with other adults that did not even involve thinking about my specifc relationship and my ex wife's mental problems. They were all so good and kind.
My biggest issue now is figuring out how to deal with the people who believed her lies about me. I live in a small town. I work in the same place my BP SO worked. Some of the people I work with believed her. Helped her move out, advised her on legal matters to make me look bad and villainous to all and essentially attempted intimidate me into agreements to give her custody of the children. It is very hard to take some days. I pretty much decided that I had to live my life as if those people did not exist. I had to become involved with people who cared about me, believed in me and supported me in figuring ways to keep my employment yet be able to put my 2 kids first in nearly every aspect of my life. They were easy to find and they are all wonderful. I am proud of what I did. I have one child successfully going to college and the other an outstanding student and athlete who will win college scholarships. I know I helped them do that despite terrible circumstances. They know it too. There is nothing that can make you feel better than that. Two young people succeeding on their own talents but knowing their dad helped them get there. That is really a good feeling. Makes me be able to overlook everything else.
I hope you can get there. You have my best wishes. There were many days I thought I wouldnt make it. Many times my house was incredibly dirty. Many times I had to leave work early (very understanding employer) to be part of their lives. Don't turn away from those you know are trying to help you. Let them help you. Eve when you think what they are getting you to do is stupid. Be strong. Every morning for 3.5 years I would spend time thinking and trying to figure out what I had done to cause all this. The answer was - nothing. Lately I don;t ask the question anymore. I didn't cause it. It is a disease she has and there is absolutely nothing I can do or could have done differently. I know i gave it my best then and I give it my best now. My kids are a testament to that. I hope you have some way to guage that also. Give it your best to make a good new life and it will work for you.
You sound like a very strong & intelligent person. It sounds like you made some very tough decisions, and followed through on them. Your children are very lucky to have you.
I, too, live in a very small town. The interesting thing is that initially some people believed the lies he told about me, but after a while they saw the bizarre behavior he was exhibiting and started to realize that he wasn't credible. His close friends will always stick by him and believe whatever he says, but I don't really like them anyway and I don't care.
I have a 13 y/o daughter (not w/ my BP SO) and she really liked my SO. She's told me that she misses him being around. He was very good to her and many times acted like a teenager and she liked that. But she's very smart and understands why I had to end the relationship. I've explained BP and alcoholism to her in great detail. She also sees the crazy behavior he's exhibited lately. But our life has become so "normal" w/out him in it.
Thanks for your kind words. You should pop into the "Do I Leave or Do I Stay" part of this forum. When it initially began, we were all w/ our BP SO's, but now most (or maybe all) are not. They're a great bunch of people.
I understand what you are all going through maybe not exactly because i have not lived your lives. But have any of you actually sat and thought to yourselves, if this is the pain and suffering you are going through, what is you loved one going through?
Can you possible imagine what it feels like to not have control over your emotions or feelings? To not know which mood your in is the real mood? To not know whether or not your even living in reality?
I dont know what im trying to say, but I ask you all to please consider what it is your loved ones have to live with every minute of every day. The panic, the fear, to feel completely invincible one minute and the next to feel like your entire existance was a mistake. To go from feeling like your on top of the world, to wanting nothing more than to end your life.
Or how about those episodes when you do hurt the people you love, and say mean, hurtful things, and then 10 minutes or 10 days later not even understanding where it came from. And then being completely consumed with guilt, ravaged by it. So they promise themselves and maybe you, that no matter what it will never happen again, and then one day it does, and its one more failure, one more thing they couldnt finish.
Im not trying to make you feel guilty or justify people with Bipolars actions. But I am saying that BiPolar is a mental illness, a disease. Maybe you think to yourselves that they could get help and it could be fixed, or they choose to do nothing about it. Guess what, everytime they feel "normal" or are feeling guilty for something hurtful they did, they promise themselves that they will get help, they will get better, they will control their moods, emotions, and actions. They maybe make a doctors appointment. But then the day of it or a couple days before they are on top of the world, feel like they can control it, deny that they are sick.
THIS IS PART OF BEING BIPOLAR, going from manic to depressed.
Maybe for a minute put you in the other persons shoes and having the person that you love tell you that they want a divorce because of your illness.
But please get back to complaining about how hard it is to be with someone that is sick. How terribly it affects YOUR lives, and why it is such a good reason to leave the person that you "love", if you can call it that.
I realize this is your first post, and welcome to the forum.
I'm curious about how you wound up here. Do you have a loved one w/ BP? Are you BP? It's hard to know reading your post. On the one hand you raise some very valid points for the loved ones of people w/ BP, and on the other hand you seem very angry at us for "giving up".
I personally was w/ my BP SO for 5 years. I lived through so much turmoil and chaos b/c he refused to take responsibility for his illness. I know full well that it's an illness, but just like diabetes or high blood pressure, the sufferer must take responsibility to manage the illness to the best of his/her ability. My ex would not do that. Even when he wasn't manic or depressed, he was irresponsible about taking meds regularly, missed appts. w/ his psych, etc. He also drinks and does illegal drugs and refuses to try to get help for that, too.
I guess I'm hoping that you can see the side that the non-BP's of BP loved ones are on. We try and try to help, but at some point (like me) we have to say enough is enough. I helped as much as I could. I bailed him out of every kind of ridiculous situation, saved him from losing his job, got him out of legal and financial trouble numerous times, and had to raise his kids for a while b/c he was unable to. I finally realized that if he wasn't willing to accept his illness and TRY to manage it better, and he wasn't willing to stop drinking and drugging, that it wasn't fair to my daughter and me. Why should we suffer so much b/c he won't take responsibility?
Many of us on this forum are here b/c we've tried and tried for so long and we're not sure what to do anymore. We come here for help, advice and support. We're not complaining. We're sharing our experiences, and sure we vent sometimes. But if we didn't truly love our BP, we wouldn't be here. You happened to read a post where we've reached our breaking points. But don't think that we didn't spend a whole lot of time and energy trying to help our BP loved one. Everyone has their breaking point.
Your post demonstrates in many ways the difficulty that spouses and significant others have in dealing with BP's as well as the fact that our (I am referring to American in this case)society, mental health system, legal system and systems of employment have in dealing with BP disease victims.
You argue both that BP's are able to recognize their instability in your second paragraph (which implies being in control), yet in the 4th paragraph you insist that they are not in control of their actions.
In your 5th paragraph you insist you are not trying to make anyone feel guilty, yet in the last paragraph that is exactly what you do.
You assume that SO's of BP's are insensitively leaving them in your 7th paragraph yet if you read this thread and other threads carefully you will see that in many cases it is the BP partner who does the leaving - not the healthy partner.
I am in agreement with you that BP is truly a horrible, debilitating, and devastating disease for the victim and those close to them.
Those victims of BP who successfully deal with the disease are those that have enough trust in someone that they can allow that other person to take control of the BP victim's life for those periods of time when they need treatment. BP sufferers who insist on being in control of their own treatment decisions continue to suffer from BP AND deliver much suffering to (and eventually alienate) their SO's, children, friends (if any remain), parents, siblings, and anyone else who cares about them.
Our mental health, medical and legal systems insist on giving BP's control of their own treatments for the long term unless they prove to be a danger to themselves and others - recognition of this danger is often too late.
This thread allows SO's of BP's to share their frustrations of dealing with illogical and out of control actions of their BP and the inability of our medical and mental health and legal systems to deal with both the rights of the BP sufferer and those close the them.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: jsmith,
My display name is now Melicious! because I can not get my password for Melicious.
Karen,
My mother is bipolar, 4 out of 5 of my sisters are bipolar, my grandmother is bipolar. I have been surrounded by bipolar women my entire life.
My mother left me with a heroine addicted babysitter when I was 9 years old and didnt come back until i was 15 years old, she is also addicted to crack cocaine. One of my sisters is also addicted to crack cocaine and is a prostitute.
I lived in 27 foster homes, until I finally moved out on my own when I was 15 years old. Believe me my life has been nowhere near a picnic.
My entire family has disowned my mom, for a million reasons that I am sure you can relate to. My sisters are all split up and noone hears from them much, except for one that I am close to.
These two women are the people I love the most in this world. Which is why I was very quick to battle for people with BP
I am Canadian as is my family. My mom has went to at least 12 different therapists since she has been diagnosed, I have spoken to the majority of them (I'm assuming the laws here are different) or maybe my mom gave permission. She has begged for help, she has made her doctors appointments. She has gone through more mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and antipsychotics than i could even begin to name. One of my mothers physicians (the last one) asked her when her next period was due, when she had a hysterectomy 25 years ago.I don't believe that one mental health person has genuinly been concerned with helping her.
She has been to the psych ward at least 15 times because I thought she was a danger to herself and she voluntarily admitted herself at my wishes, she was released each time within 30 days, with a couple of bottles of pills in hand. Because here, unless they are 100% confident that you are a threat to yourself or someone else they will only keep you for 30 days (at most) one of these reasons is bed space, the others I'm not sure of.
My entire family has disowned her, for a million reasons that I am sure you can relate to.
This is not a battle that my mom can fight on her own, or even with me in the corner. Every time I speak to her, see her, or hug her, I know that she is losing her fight. Our fight.
My family all claims that I am either stupid, or a glutten for punishment. I can sleep at night thinking to myself that if it was me, if i was the sick one, it would be nothing short of hell for me to be all alone.
With all of that said and done, no matter how much I love my mom, or am sympathetic towards people with BP I had no right implying that you are selfish for being a mother and protecting your child as well as your own sanity. Or that any person is selfish for leaving someone with BP or giving up on a hellish battle.
Please forgive me for not considering your feelings or your daughters well being.
Thanks for sharing your experiences w/ BP. Gosh, you've had it rough, and you're a very strong person to have lived through so much pain.
And thanks for understanding why I had to finally end the relationship I had w/ a BP. I really tried to make it work, and always will love him. It's the illness I hate, as I'm sure you can understand. The pain and chaos my daughter and I endured was endless.
Your mom is very lucky to have you, and hopefully someday she'll realize that. Take care,
I believe my husband to be bipolar. Six years ago, things started. He was always a very loving husband and father. Then I came home one day and he left us in 20 minutes. Said he wasn't happy and tht we should separate. I found out he had an affair. Moved in with a friend of ours (who eventuall asked him to leave) and numerous strange behaviors. He was chief on a fire department, quit flat. He spent $5,000 in pencils for the department which they had to accept. He was very aggressive toward the guy he loved like a brother (for no reason). Had frequent crying spells and began to drink. There are many other odd things that he did, but you get the idea. He also experienced memory loss. He had his friend searching for things that he swore the members on the department were stealing, only to leave them in the friend's garage when he moved out. I tried to get his family to help me get him help. They wouldn't help him unless he asked for their help. He ended up coming home 8 months later. After he was home 3 months, he informed me he had a problem and needed to get help. He went to a therapist for 8 to 9 months. We lost more of him every day. He began hiding in the bedroom in the dark. I would call his therapist and he stated he was having a midlife crisis. I don't agree. She told me to act like things were normal and to ignore him. I finally got him to get help for his sleep apnea (he has all 3 types) and he was put on Lexapro for depression. Things were great until June of this year. One week he loves me, the next he is unhappy and wants out. He is hell bent on a dissolution. He acts the same way he did before. I found out he was seeing someone. I hear his family is starting to realize that he might have a problem, but they won't do anything. This is not normal. I have known him since I was 16 years old and married for 22 years. I don't know who he is. I didn't know of all the weird things until this happened again. HELP ME Please, I am lost here.
Originally posted by Melicious: I understand what you are all going through maybe not exactly because i have not lived your lives. But have any of you actually sat and thought to yourselves, if this is the pain and suffering you are going through, what is you loved one going through?
Can you possible imagine what it feels like to not have control over your emotions or feelings? To not know which mood your in is the real mood? To not know whether or not your even living in reality?
I dont know what im trying to say, but I ask you all to please consider what it is your loved ones have to live with every minute of every day. The panic, the fear, to feel completely invincible one minute and the next to feel like your entire existance was a mistake. To go from feeling like your on top of the world, to wanting nothing more than to end your life.
Or how about those episodes when you do hurt the people you love, and say mean, hurtful things, and then 10 minutes or 10 days later not even understanding where it came from. And then being completely consumed with guilt, ravaged by it. So they promise themselves and maybe you, that no matter what it will never happen again, and then one day it does, and its one more failure, one more thing they couldnt finish.
Im not trying to make you feel guilty or justify people with Bipolars actions. But I am saying that BiPolar is a mental illness, a disease. Maybe you think to yourselves that they could get help and it could be fixed, or they choose to do nothing about it. Guess what, everytime they feel "normal" or are feeling guilty for something hurtful they did, they promise themselves that they will get help, they will get better, they will control their moods, emotions, and actions. They maybe make a doctors appointment. But then the day of it or a couple days before they are on top of the world, feel like they can control it, deny that they are sick.
THIS IS PART OF BEING BIPOLAR, going from manic to depressed.
Maybe for a minute put you in the other persons shoes and having the person that you love tell you that they want a divorce because of your illness.
But please get back to complaining about how hard it is to be with someone that is sick. How terribly it affects YOUR lives, and why it is such a good reason to leave the person that you "love", if you can call it that.
Before being with my BPSO I never had problems with any type of mental illness. Also, I was a single mother when we met so I have a child that I am responsible for. When he started going through his first major episode, the changes it brought about in his behavior caused me to seek counselng and I was diagnosed with chronic depression. I knew I had to get him out of my life one day when I considered turning the wheel on my car and driving into the concrete wall on the the freeway to get away from him and his hateful behavior. The only thing that saved me was when I thought about how it would affect my daughter. So I'm sorry if you feel that I should have stayed in this relationship, but, I felt that I had to save the lives of my daughter and I, not this sick man who refuses treatment.
now seeing a therapist. I managed to get both a college degree, become a CPA and now hold an MBA, but, I could not deal with my poor, sick loved one. In addition to that, I have a child from a prior marriage that I am taking care of. After dealing with
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