Bipolar Depression

I had just gotten divorced in November of last year, then in January of this year I met my current husband. We hit it off so well and fell in love quickly. I know that it happend fast but I also know that I was not infatuated - I really love this man. Anyhow, we got married March 13th. I am his 3rd wife. After talking to him and his mother and his ex wives, I really believed that it was not his fault. lol From the time we met up until 2 weeks ago, everything was amazing. He was also making me laugh, I was ejoying new things, I WANTED to be a great wife to him and I worked very hard at it. I cooked, cleaned, listened to how is day went when he'd come home, I was his fishing buddy, rubbed his neck and back just about everyday. He made me feel great and I wanted to do the same for him. He has 6 kids that he gets everyother weekend and I have 2 that I get for a week at a time everyother week. My children just love him and he enjoys them as well. I take care of his kids when they are at our house and I never ***** about getting them, even when I am totally worn out - I am 7 months pregnant. I know that I am not perfect, I myself suffer from depression and occasional anxiety. I take my medication everyday to prevent me from getting down. Our sex life was also AMAZING!! We both agreed that the sex was the best we'd each ever had. Anyhow, one sunday after we dropped off his 4 oldest kids he started acting pissy. I asked him what was wrong and he started in on the fact that I was being disrespectful when I said that I didnt think he was right about a geographic conversation that he and his daughter were having - turned out he was right and I admitted I was wrong and appologized. Anyhow, when he told me that I was disrespectful I just thought that was outragious and refused to not do something like that again. Many other things were said that were hurtful on his part during that conversation. The following couple of days were weird, he started to withdrawl from me and refused to talk about it. On wednesday I went to my regular therapy apppointment and discussed this with her, she helped me realize that he may be sensitive about stuff like that and helped me to figure out how I could change to help him with that. So I called him and acklowledged that I wasn't meaning to be disrespectful but I was and I was very sorry and I would be better - not exact words. He completely ignored me and completely changed the subject. Over the next several days things didn't improve, we had a few moments of connection on Friday and we went to bed together but this time was different. He usually enjoyed pleasing me but now he acted as though it put him out. Well as a pregnant woman you can imagine how that made me feel. All together over the last 2 weeks he has just pulled away from me in everyway and everytime I try to talk about it, rather angrily or very calmly - he changes the subject or gets mad at me for feeling unloved. And he has said a few hurtful things. When something is wrong in my relationship I can't just let it go, when I know that my SO is acting different, I feel like I have to get to the bottom of it. My mistake I guess. Monday night he went to help his dad 2 hours away and ended up staying the night, we got into it over the phone because of his refusal to talk to me about anything going on, i got emotional and mistakenly said I wanted a divorce -stupid and immature I know. My son who is 4 had surgery yesterday and Tuesday I went for his preop- when I got home all of my husbands things were gone, he took his truck and our van (with the help of a nasty neighbor lady) and went to his moms. I freaked out, called him texted him- never responded until I accused him of sleeping with the neighbor. He denied it and told me to leave him alone. Never would give me an answer as to why he left or what his intentions were. I have been going out of my mind!! his mother wont answer either. I have left numerous messages saying that I don't want a divorce, I love him we can work this out, if his needs time away to get his thoughts together then that is fine but I miss him. All he does is text me - LEAVE ME ALONE. His uncle says he probably won't come back and that my husband told him somethings that I know are not true. I called his ex wife, who is an awful person, she shared with me that he has called her and told her every single detail of his life with me over the last 4 months. he calls her all the time apparently. He even shared very personal, private and embaracing sexual things about him and I that you only want your spouse to know about. She called him for me to see what his intentions are - he said when he got the money he was filing for divorce. Even though I appologized for saying I wanted a divorce and told him that I don't and that I love him - he told me ex husband that that was the reason why he left. Oh, his ex wife also told me that he is Bipolar - got diagnosed before she met him and stopped taking his meds when they were first married. The way she described his actions with her where exactly the way he is with me. According to her none of his family even knows about this. I believe it, he is an only child and is always up his mothers butt. Everytime I text him he either says nothing or LEAVE ME ALONE. My therapist says I should leave him alone. He is my HUSBAND - i find it hard to leave him alone but since 3 yesteday I have not called or texted him. I know that we haven't been married long and everyone is going to think to just let him go - I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar a year ago and so I know that it is not his fault and that when you have this disorder, having people around you that love and support you without abandoning you is important. I don't want to just give up on him like both his ex wifes. I want to educate his family and get him some help. But in the mean time - he is gone and I can't get ahold of him because if I do I will push him further away. I live rent free but he left me with an empty tank of gas, no money, pass due utilities, $500 negative in checking (all his doing), 7 months pregnant and my son had surgery yesterday. I could hate him for that alone but I don't - I am hurt by it but I also know that he is sick and he needs help and if none of his family knows he is then he may never get any better and will continue to destroy his life - I want more for him than that.

PLEASE GET OUT... while you still can. You cannot change these people especially as they won't take their meds. You need to look after yourself and your unborn baby. Your whirlwind romance reminds me a little of my own with my husband, although we did wait 3 years to actually get married after we met. Ask yourself why he has two ex-wives? If they couldn't cope, it's unlikely that you can either. I understand that the diagnosis could be wrong but it screams Bipolar Manic to me, my husband also became nasty and ran off. They never change and will suck all the life out of you eventually. You can still love him but love yourself more, please. Good luck. I may not have said what you want to hear but it's the truth. BIG HUG!

I'm with Bev...it's useless to attempt to reconcile with someone who has already made up his mind to leave. You cannot blame yourself for this. If your H is bipolar, his actions will seem irrational but they make perfect sense to him. While it may seem bad, please get away from this person. Stay with your family until your child is born and then please find a job and move on with your life. Otherwise, you just leave yourself wide open for more pain.

BYD