Bipolar Depression

I came home to find my infant daughter alone, in her car seat, in the master walk in closet. My SO had obviously been on a drinking binnge and it looked like he had been with another woman in my house. Because I didn't think that my baby was in the closet I freaked out & called the cops. I found her while she was in the closet. The cops came & my SO didn't show up for HOURS- but just in time for my usual arrival home (I had come home early because I thought something was wrong).

My SO and his family think I overreacted in involving the police and they all think I should not be getting a divorce. His family does not know that this is just the tip of the iceburg.

I have BEGGED my SO to make love to me for the last year- he's never been intersted. I think his lack of sexual disire for me is directly related to either to an affiar or him having sex with 'escorts'.

I am devesated. But I can not risk the life of my child for the love of my husband. He's unpredictable and every time things get good the bottom falls out of our lives. Several years ago he disappeared while on a work trip and ended up in the hospital- I didn't find out for DAYS! More evidence of a prostitue was seen during that time.

We've nearly divorced before and now I am just so sad. He took our precious daughter, hid her in a closet, put on music so no one could hear her cry and then hid every trace of her and myself in the house. HE LEFT HER ALONE IN THE HOUSE!

Is this typical? I can't trust him with money- it disappears. I have to check his car because he hides things there....

...preceding this most recent episode he was drinking a lot of those energy drinks and energy boosters, not sleeping and talking like he didn't need his meds. I knew something was not right but he had been diagnosed with BP only in November- and had been doing beautifully on meds.

Now, we are divorcing. His bond (yes, he went to jail for leaving my baby in the closet) that his mom paid states we can not have any kind of contact. I feel so lonesome without hiim but am beginning to realize how rough the last seven years have been with him.

He posted two personal ads (on Yahoo personals & Chemistry.com) not even a week after getting out of jail. How cold is that? He said he loved me and my daughter, said he'd take care of us and now he's abandoned us.

Is this typical? Is this what 'normal' is for a BP?

Jenny,

What a HORRIBLE story! It sounds like your husband has something going on along with the BP - it sounds like Narcissistic Personality Disorder with some sociopathy. Narcissists have no empathy nor remorse which is why they can switch their emotions on and off to suit their needs. They can only feel their own emotions, not yours. That's why he is acting so cold. It is just SICK that he is already looking for his next "victim" on the internet.

Are you his first wife or was he married before? If he was married prior to you, it might not hurt to speak with wife #1 to compare experiences. From what I have read on this and other BP web boards, this disease, if left unmedicated, gets worse with age (it's called "kindling, you can google it).

I am the first wife- but I think he's done this before with live-in girlfriends. As far as I am aware, he does not have children (I would have thought his family would have said something to me in the last seven years).

My SO just would swing between feeling 'everything' and crying to going completely numb.

Should I contact his doctor? Or would it sound more like a soured wife trying to get back at her husband? I AM WORRIED about his state.... I DO want him to get better and seek treatment. Honestly, he is unable to see our baby without supervision and I just dread the day when the supervision is no longer required.

It has been 14 months since I found my baby in the closet and my former SO has yet to seem like anything is different. He now is wanting to spend time ALONE with her - a thought that TERRIFIES me.

The baby is now 18 months and I just don't know how to get the fomer BP SO off the 'I must have her alone' track.

Any suggestions?