Bipolar Depression

I want to start by saying I am not asking for advice on whether I should leave or stay and I am not asking for a miracle drug or magic phrase. I know many of you are in the same scenario as I. I just want to get this off my chest and create a network of support.

I knew for the longest time my fiance had ADHD. However, I suspected he had bipolar for awhile because his mother has it and his grandfather. He was officially diagnosed towards the end of last year.

The first few years of our relationship he was mostly kind, pleasing, and complimentary. He got angry sometimes but they were infrequent.
After the first few years he sometimes felt as if he no longer had feelings for me. However, he still found me attractive. We often got into small and stupid arguments that could turn into huge yelling fests. This was also put on because of our young age and my lack of controlling my temper.
Over time I became much more patient and learned to control my temper much better. This last year my boy friend can go from "I love you, you are the world to me" to "I don't love you. You cause all the problems." He can view me from having the body of a goddess and spontaneous awesome sex to "I just find you bleh". In a manner of a week.
His grandparents are my main line of support. They are the only ones who know that it is not my fault. They know what he is going through and what I am going through. I haven't even told my mother, whom I would consider myself close to exactly what I am going through because she has not experienced bipolar like I or his grandparents have. I have detached myself from my friends because it is a 24/7 job trying to care for someone with bipolar, they don't understand bipolar, and they still think he is the most awesome boyfriend/person in the world.
Like many people with bipolar my fiance presents himself as charming, loyal, trustworthy, and entertaining. Therefore, he has a lot of loyal friends. More friends than I will probably ever have.
It really irks me when he will act up in front of his friends, twist it around to make it my fault, and act as if I caused the problem.
Of all of our friends I probably have one or two mutual friends who understand me and see the real him. One of those friends understood right away when I dished out everything on his bipolar and his problems. Her mother is schizophrenic and her son has anxiety disorder. She admitted she would invite me over more but my fiance is a poor influence on her teenage son. Instead of being older brother/friend/authority figure my boy friend acts like a stupid little kid. They both get impulsive, irritable, and the night usually ends in a fight.

The slightest thing can make him tick. I don't hand him a glass the correct way and the next thing I know I am being called every bad name in the book. While there is usually a small disagrement between the incidents I just don't see how a small fluke or problem can turn into a huge blowout.
I can tell him he is obese, in a dead end job, has a major anger problem that is affecting his relationship, has bad skin and he accepts it and doesn't have an ounce of anger.
On the other hand, I can tell him not to close out a web page, don't drive to fast, or forget to put a dish in the sink and I am a stupid, uptight, you know what.

Right now he seems to be going through a somewhat more manic state. His "I should leave you because all our relationship problems are your fault". His ego is getting so huge it will burst at any second. He sometimes steals a few small stuff from his work and now brags to his friends about all the big stuff he can steal. I understand when you work for a place you start to see what you can and cannot take without being caught but now he is talking about high security items.

I control his finances now. His paycheck goes into an account only I control. I control the credit cards. I control everything financial. However, he will still sometimes ask for the credit card to get gas or fix a car part and use it to buy a big meal or some other item he did not need.
He works in retail and does not understand that I am not a customer. We are in a joint relationship. When he sells me something we do not need that is also his money going down the drain. We do not have a lot of money. We do not make as much money as some of our peers. I manage to save a good amount of money each month. However, I am still convincing myself that we so desperately need that x-box360 I reluctantly purchased.

His extreme indecisiveness is in his relationship with me, his friendships, and his career. Although like many people in his 20's he is still searching his decisions can be extreme. One day he is certain he wants to be a computer programmer, the next day a mechanic, and the next he wants to continue with his retail job.