Bipolar Depression

At wits end, Unbelievable.. I use to say to my husband, AA teaches you that you still with the men and the woman stick with the woman, why are you letting all these woman come to you and why are you talking to them.. Talk to me.. I need to know whats going on.. YOu dont bring outsiders into a relationship.. just ME, YOu, and God. and he would never get it... he use to say i was jealous. and i would say not of the woman, but in the fact you would tell them more than you would tell me... I was told though that these other woman made him feel good.. and I knew him, really knew him, flaws and all, so his ego was being boosted by the others...I tried to always build him up, but that wasnt enough, he needed more...I miss him so... all i can do is pray and see where GOD leads me, and him too

My husband wont seek help he says it just stress he doesnt see his patterns like I do . I have taken a Psyc class and he seems to me like hes bipolar. For a couple weeks he is so sweet and then IT happens and he loses it. Me and my three kids pay severly. He cusses, throws things, I dont know what to do I dont want this abuse anymore and I dont want my kids to witness it. Its hard to leave because I dont have a job and I do enjoy staying home with my baby.. Im so confused I just need someone to talk to...

hang in there. Read my other posts. My husband says here is just stressed too. This website has been the most therapeutic for me. I haven't posted in over a month- it's amazing even to myself to re-read my own posts- what an emotional roller coaster.

For the first time since November 2005, I finally found a safe place among people who actually share the same experience I have. For a while there, I thought I myself was headed for a very bad breakdown.

I'm a female foreigner in Kenya. I share an apartment with a Kenyan girl friend. She's bipolar. It never manifested until months after we moved in. She doesn't want to go for treatment. She accuses me of labeling her sick when she's not. I've been the object of her blowups too many times, it hurts so much. I really do feel alone. Especially during episodes when she got physical on me. I have scars from those times. And I no longer have my glasses for astigmatism because she crushed them underfoot.

She doesn't have a job now. She can't seem to keep one. Always something wrong with what she has, so she resigns. But she's actually a brilliant person.

It's so much harder dealing with this issue here because any mental ill-health in Kenya is a stigma and taboo in public conversations. So much so that I feel so stupid and embarrassed when I've tried to broach her condition with another close friend. She looked at me like I was lying. I'm the only object of my friend's outbursts. No one else. Why? Why me? Why only me?

I can't stand it because it really is very hurtful, but I love this friend of mine very much. And when I do confront her about what she says, she denies everything and says I'm just making up her hurtful statements.

Right now she just stays home most days. I encourage her to work, but nothing's happening yet in that area of her life. What to do?

How do I get her to seek treatment without making her feel stigmatized?

quote:

I highly recommend you go to yahoo and search for the "Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance" (DBSA). They hold meetings nationwide for sufferers and/or family members. NAMI is another possible source for support (but I haven't had dealings with them).

Thank you dkling! I am going to go to our local DBSA meeting with hubby to receive support. I'm glad to posted this info!

quote:

Originally posted by hangingon:
I know i say this a lot in my posts, but i have to say it again: i am totally amazed by the "carbon copy" stories about loved ones of bp sufferers. why do they not trust us? we are the ones who go through the bowels of hell with them.

Isn't it amazing? I came home to find my husband on the kitchen floor the other night. I asked him if he was okay & he said he was fine. He said he felt like lying down in the kitchen made him feel good b/c the kitchen is the "happiest place in the house." He later elaborated that it was because I cook so much & that he feels my love through my food. Yeah, definitely a kooky way to show his affection, but it's perfectly "normal" to him.

Hang in there, everyone. It's not wrong or even crazy to love a bipolar person. Remember, you're not alone in this.

BYD

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BoneyardDiva,

freemind69
you sound lonely and bereft.im not bp but my so is, one of the hardest messages we can get through is that we love you. i cant get this through to him but maybe someone is trying to get it thru to you.your old self is still there make yourself do some old stuff. go for a walk, put on some happy music ring a old friend or one you feel youve lost cx with look at some photos,
remind yourself of what you were and can stil be.
boring practical advice. are you on meds if there not working change them see a different doc if your not happy with the one youve got.
younger doctors are more up to date on this.

take care

Hello all

I am reaching out because i am not sure what to do anymore...I have a stong feelign that my father 66years old has bipola, I have read may articals and clippings and each one seem like they are desribing him. He is very moody, does not socialize with the family when we are at his house having dinner, screams at the children his grand children, but nice to stranger children, and MEAN to my mother who i think he is gettin her sick( she must have gained 60lbs in the past 3 years)...he can be nice one minute and completly out of control the next...this past weekened we went to a family wedding, i drove (it was quite a distance)at the end of the wedding my aunt handed my Mother the centerpiece of flowers, and like a the graceous woman she is accpeted them. He begaiin to yell and scream at her using langage that shoud never be used to in the home or around family....I then said "come on dad we had a worderful day lets not fight over flowers"...he then begain to yell and scream and call me words that are very hurting while i was driving, i had to pull over and gain control of myself...once we arived back to the car not a word was spoken, one we reached the house my mom went stright to her room crying and throwing up...i went to my place waited about an hour, called my mom to make sure she was fine, and said i would like to come back and speak to daddy.....he agreed to that.....When speaking to my father, he had no recolaction of yelling and cursing, the entire eposode was complety different and about 1/2 was missing (I think he blacked out)...and does not remember anythign proceding to me getting out of the car and walking..., but told my mom he wants a divorce after 43 years, blamed her for me and my siblings for hating him...My father was a good provider..not much of a father.,....never took us anyplace...laid on the couch for years and we where not able to talk when he was watchign TV, made us do the houseold chours, nad if we complained said i had kids to be my tolld...you do as i say ...does not have many friends (he does nto trust people)...and never gave me my sister and brother any confidence..even to today he calls us stupid....The other day called my sister a bitch because she was not able to make the wedding, she has three kids and lives in Maryland (we are in NY)...when i asked him about that...he does not recall it..Years ago my mother tells me he was hospitalized for a nervous break down...I think my father has been in this state for years...I do not know how toget him HELP....I asked him to go see a dr, and he reply is to my go (*&% yourself..PLEASE HELP..i do not want to lose my mother becasue of the miserable person, who i am begining to dislike...

hhhh

Starr you are so right, we have to give it to God everyday, and we have to pray several times a day over and over, God does here us I know. I am in the midst of what you all have been talking about, I too miss my husband so very much, I live with him but he is not here. He is mean heartless and blames me for all of his anger and confusion. WE go to the psychiatrist on Monday the 11th of Febr. I am so scared they will not see what I see. HE filled out a questionare and left somethings out but when I started to talk to him about it he got anger so let it alone. For those of you that have had it diaginosed can they see between the lines? I am so afraid they will tell him nothing is wrong and he will tell me "see it was all you" and he will never get help.
How do they do this? Will they know the first visit???? Will they talk to me??? I have kept a journal do I take it along for them to read or just hope for the best?
baby

I am right there with all of you, my hubby had an affair too, and has since on and off chatted online with women, emailed them and txted them. Then feels so bad when the mania is over, he too doesnt believe me when I tell him how mean he was too me. What is with them having to call 100 times a day when they are loving?? IS it reassurance? Mine told me he felt he had to call so I wouldnt get mad, but that was the evil person telling me that. I have been told it is my fault he feels trapped and suffocated. I am the reason he has to get mad, I just dont "get it" . He even told me once that he was going to chat with whomever he wanted and maybe even meet them and if I didnt like it too **** bad. Now he is on meds but only for a few weeks now so not sure if that is why, but he is so loving and tender, the man I fell in love with. I had my counsler tell me that we need to grieve for the spouse we thought we married. I tend to agree. Word for Word your lives are mine...we all need each other, thanks so much for the support, you have NO idea how much you all have helped me.
Baby

i know exactly what you are going through. i went through the same with my husband. Last year he started e-mailing a girl he went to school with, and then texting her, and then he wanted her and to leave me. It wa a horrible winter. dont put all your hopes in these prescription drugs though- it took my husband over three months to get stable. The doctor treated him like a lab rat. First he was on Zyprexa ( that did not work) then they put him on Geodon after about a month that did level him out but the side effects were horrible he had horrible body aches. Then the doctors put him on lythium. That has been successful for the last ten months, however the tremors have gotten so bad that he now has to be weened off of that and they are putting him on Lamictal. i am so afraid that when they wein him off of something that has worked for so long and try this new one- what if it does not work??? He was so horrible his manic was not a happy it was just horrible anger.
I know what you are going through with your hubby. It is a long hard wrong with lots of bumps. i went to support groups for a while by myself just to not feel so alone, and then once the geodone helped him get stabel he started going with me. He now sees his doctor once a month and keeps taking his meds I just hope he sticks with it.

I just placed a post under QA asking if my husband was characteristic of bipolar,but after reading these posts, I'm pretty certain what the response will be. I guess I'm not he only one "responsible" for my husband's mood swings. It's so strange. When he's angry with me, it is because I've "gone away" and refuse to give him the love and respect and attention he deserves. When he loves me it's because I've "come back to him" and returned to the kind loving person he needs. And, yet, I don't think my behavior has changed at all...other than learning to shut down and protect myself emotionally because I never know when or why the next outburst is coming.

He must see the value of what he has: you, his family, his friends. He must understand that to be healthy helps these people. He must know that getting help is a sign of strength. If he goes, he's taking that step, not you. A man likes to be king of the jungle and chart his own path, but sometimes the king needs help. Deliver the message in a kind way: Go to the doc, to help you and all of us. It's a sign of strength. If he doesn't undestand that, there's nothing more you can do. If you are in danger, leave.