Bipolar Depression

This is my first time writing. My brother has just been arrested for the distribution of Crack after he was fired from his job. He has only been medicated once for bipolar, but the meds gave him a bad reaction. He never got a different prescription and couldn't get federal funded money to get the meds. (He can't wake up in the mornings to get to the office in time to sign the forms for welfare.) He is not remorseful, even though this is the umpteen time that he's been arrested, and I doubt that he'll get any form of treatment while incarcerated. When he gets out, he has no place to go, but back home to my parents house, where they are raising his 2 little girls. He will put them in danger, since people are after him for drug money. He has a felony on his record now, so getting a job is out of the question. i don't even know where to begin to ask for help. I want to write to him in jail, but i don't know what to say that would make any kind of impact. I'm afraid there is no rock bottom. It's a dangerous cycle with no clear end in sight. Does anyone have advice on what to do?

Dear sister2bpbro,

Wow, it really sounds like you have a tough situation to deal with. I am the one with bipolar in my family, so I can't say that I know what it is like to have a sibling with bipolar. I know my sisters went through heartache when I tried to kill myself, and I hope I never put them through that kind of experience again. When they came to see me in the hospital, after I had tried (but not succeeded) to commit suicide, you could just see the pain in their faces, as they tried to smile and put on a brave face, but tears were rolling down their cheeks. If only I had seen the consequences of my actions before I attempted to do such an awful thing.

I can't change the past, but I can do everything in my power to make the present and the future better for all of us. And while I don't have a brother with bipolar, my husband was diagnosed with the illness.

With your brother, there really isn't much you can do if he refuses to take some kind of responsbility for what he has done. I do know that felons can get jobs, but I am not sure what kinds of jobs are available for them. Your brother might be eligible for a halfway house or an intermediate rehab facility after he gets out of jail. I believe they call it transitional living, and it is run by law enforcement officials. That way, he would have a place to go where it is relatively safe and would not put your family in any kind of danger. I would ask the people who are in charge of discharge treatment plans about these transitional facilities. If we have them in Great Falls, Montana, I am sure you would have them wherever you are living.

While I know he is probably not getting any kind of rehab in jail, most prisons do give people with mental illnesses medications for their illnesses. My husband was incarcerated and they gave him medication for his bipolar. By the time he got released, he was pretty much symptom free and back to being "normal" again. You may want to see if the prison your brother is in is providing him with medication.

Are you able to visit with your brother or have any kind of correspondence with him? If so, you can tell by the way he is interacting, if he is still in the midst of one of his bipolar episodes. If he appears to be somewhat rational, you could try talking to him about his plans for when he gets out. If he is still episodic, it will pretty much be impossible to have a meaningful conversation with him. I know when my husband was first put in jail, we would go visit him, and he would talk about crazy things like aliens taking over the world. Over time, as the medication started to take effect, he would begin to talk more rationally and start to take some responsibility for what he had done. For sure, he did not want to admit that he had done anything wrong, but at least he wasn't going on and on about how everybody else had done him wrong.

I wish you the best with your brother. I can only imagine how tough it must be to be in this position. I will keep you and your brother in my thoughts and prayers.

Kay

Sister2bpbro,

My brother is also bipolar and he can't hold down a job either. In fact we have been fighting to get him Social Security for 2 1/2 years now. We have a court date in two months and it finally looks like we have a chance. As for your situation, have hope. My cousin got mixed up in drugs and trouble and has been in and out of jail for the past 10 years. It was while he was there that his mom figured out that he was bipolar.

Definitly write him. He can't exactly avoid you and whether he wants to admit or not, knowing that someone is there will mean the world to him. You will be one of the few links to the "outside" world. Also, keep bugging the prison ward or whoever you can talk to until they get him help. It took my aunt awhile, but they finally listened to her. The state will pay for the medicine, and believe me meds can make a world of difference. Make sure he knows that different meds react differently. It takes time, but once you find the right one and the right dosage it makes all the difference in the world. My cousin is a totally different person. And he can't say enough about my aunt because she never gave up on him. Once he is out of jail, it may take a while, but try for social security if he is still having trouble adjusting. The fact that he was in jail will actually help him in getting Social Security. Start the process right before he gets out, and make sure you get a copy of everything any doctor writes down. There is an official form number for it, but I am not sure what it is. Contact a company called Allsup. They help people get social security.

If he realizes that there is more to his life than what he has had to deal with, then there is a very good chance that he will change.

Good Luck
Tina