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Question: What do you do when as a care giver the new friends are causing triggers for rapid cycling? My boy friend of 3 years is rapid cycling, on meds,and a recovering alcoholic of 15 months sober. I have been through H*LL and back as I am sure all care givers go thru. His cycling has become more stabalizied on the meds for 2 years ...until he met a new group of friends where he works. They are irresponsible partyers.I have never met them because he says they party too hard for me. He has become raging manic, staying out all night etc. I did not live through hell to let someone who doesn't understand bipolar to undo all that we have accomplished. Do I try to talk and explain to them? They don't understand that he makes poor decisions when he is like this and that I am not just being overprotective. Because of the recent episodes, trying to explain that they are a terrible influence, he just can't see right now. Do I go to them with medical info, or what? Please, Someone out there has had to have dealt with this and I am losing what I have worked so very lovinginly over.
I'm sorry to say- he is making the choices not you. He is one who must recongize what his behavior is doing to you and himself. I've been a caregiver to a wife for nine years, and she loves to party. Yes, even BP people have conscience ability to make healthy decions. you cant change anyone- BP or not BP. You simply have to talk to him- tell him how you feel about his behavior- if he chooses them over you. Time to move on my dear. If your not married to him, why put yourself in harms way? People learn hard lessons in life, and the ones who love these people suffer more than the ones learning them. Its not fair, nor is right, but we choose to love someone who doesnt have the caregiver compassion to understand those feelings we as caregivers feel. Its up to you if you want to ride the roller coaster.
Ask him if he likes the results when he's with these friends. If he can't see the damage, there's little you can do. He needs to see the need to get new, more healthy friends. If he values you and his life, he needs to change his activity with these friends or get new friends. What does he value? What is important to him? You're not controlling him, you are asking him to make choices. If his choice is to hurt your relationship, then it may be time to go.
