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I'm in very very very bad shape!!! I'm BP I was recently told and my Dr. told me to take Zyprexa for it BUT I've taken soooooooooo many diffferent types of anti depressants with so many problems (long story) that I'm now COMPLETELY afraid to take this med. I'm in very bad shape. Can't focus on ANYTHING. Anger off the charts, not working. Mad at the world. I need to be in a hospital BUT I'm consumed with my husband cheating on me so if I go into the hospital I'm afraid I'll lose it there with the fear he's with someone else!!! I need help now!! What should I do???????? Every night I swear to myself I'll take the medication but chicken out-every time. My friends are sick of me complaining about him and don't call. When he leaves for work I lose it wondering if he's actually going to work. All I do is pace in a circle for hours!!!!!! He's told me NOT to call him at work anymore or his cell phone while he's at work and DON'T stop by work either. That has driven me to be worse now!!! I'm much worse in the morning with rage at him. I hate the day and dread it with worry of what will be next from him and I hate the night with the looming med problem. Need to take it but can't. I've called our local mental health place and talked to intake councilors-all of them but can't bring myself to go in-which I really need badly!!! Someone help me. I'd actually like to talk to someone on the phone if possible. Oh yea, my Dr. told me he couldn't help me if I can't take the med and not to come back if I don't. Another door closed!! My fear is if I take the med I'll get even madder at my husband and I can't do that. My anger scares me!! I can't go on much longer. Someone please help me! Is this normal BP behavior?????? My depression is so bad now I don't even have any feelings for my cats either and my local football team which I loved beyond words. I can't be still either. I also can't make up my mind about anything. I've had no appetite for 2 months and I don't sleep either. I'm also afraid to take my sleeping med too. I'm not functioning in the world at all now. I need help. What should I do? I really need to be better by the holidays-please let me be!! This is the most horrible thing I've ever experienced-EVER Lost all interest in everything!! Very scared!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: JustMe,
Me again. Oh yea, music sticks in my head always!! If I hear a song or just think of one it won't leave. I have to wear a headset in the car for fear of hearing a song. This is complete hell!!!! Like all the rest of it. I've lost so much weight it's scary. Never was that heavy to begin with. Went from a size 8 to a 3!!! I can't even take a shower. Don't have the patience for it or anything else. Can't stand to sit in a car or do literally anything that takes time. Drying my hair with my blow dryer is hell for me. I can't even grill a cheese sandwich, take too long. BP is like your on speed and the world isn't going fast enough for you. Being around people is hell too. When your this far off normal it's beyond hell!!! Please write with some advice. Sorry to drag on but desperate.
This board has been rather slow lately, but it sounds like you need some BP people to talk to. Why don't you try this other board that has a lot of activity and a lot of BP people who can give you advice:
