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The darkness, my old friend. I have been exactly where you are facing that dead end road. Do I turn to the rocky cliff or do I turn to the darkness and be swallowed up?
I tend to go into the darkness, not willingly, and somehow through my wandering around blind - end up on the rocky cliff.
I too started a new job because I had no choice literally. I have no insurance, no money, and no meds because of it. I've been there a week and a half and can't seem to get there on time (traffic), have had major anxiety attacks in the traffic, and well came home early today because I just couldn't get through the full day. It isn't that I didn't intend to or that I didn't want to, I just simply couldn't.
Now I am worried about being labelled by my new employer as an "issue" and chose not to tell them about my BP because I didn't want to be and like you, didn't want it to be. Yet as it always has, it is.
I wish you luck, hope you opt initially for the darkness, and hope that you'll grab hold of a lightning bug. They have very small lights on their tail ends but in the darkness, even a small blinking light is better than completely none. I am still searching for one to grab hold of.
