Bipolar Depression

I am reaching out. I have been with my bi-polar wife for 14 years and married for 10 of them. We have 2 small children ages 5 and 7. Last Saturday, she told me that she was divorcing me and that she wasnt going to tell and just have me served. She gave me no reason. I will admit that the marriage isnt perfect, but marriages require hard work everyday. We have a tremendous more amount of good, then the bad.

I love and care deeply for my wife. I have been through many of the cycles of her illness. She isnt being herself, and believe she is in a manic state. Which she all but admitted to. She tends to cycle with the seasons...Spring and Fall. I have done so much research this week on the illness to further understand. She does come from a family with a history of mental illness. She has turned to some of her family members for help, but I dont believe those people TRULY UNDERSTAND the illness. I have asked for their help because of the seriousness, but havent even gotten return phone calls. How do I get them to see this or share info with them?

She took herself off all her meds EXCEPT Prozac back in November after entering a depression in late September. Her medications included:
Lithium
Lamictal
Wellbutrin
Prozac
Abilify
Adderall

While on most of these meds she was...simply put, a zombie; however, the up and downs were A LOT more leveled out. about that time I told her that I thought she should get a 2nd opinion because she might be getting overmedicated. But she decided she just couldnt live like that anymore and removed herself from the meds. She came out of her "fog" in I would say January...Sometime in February, I began to see the signs. Increased spending, needing less sleep, increased desire for risky behavior, and change in appetite to name a few.

I have tried to communicate with her, but she just looks through me and doesnt even hear me. I ask her to talk and she doesnt respond. This is so hard for me, because even her eyes are different...She does look at me and tell me that "I'm Fine" "There is NOTHING wrong with me" , and "Just leave me alone, you are really bugging me".

Again, this is my wife for whom I vowed to take care of in sickness and health, for better or for worse. I do not intend to give up on her for her sake, the children and this family. I am going to counseling to see if I can find out more about me to remove any of the triggers I may create.

She opened up to me a little more yesterday but told me not too get to excited. She told me what it was like living with this 800 lb gorilla. I asked her to get back on her meds and seek counseling for her, us, and the family. I also asked her to give me a code word to let me know if she is getting aggitated. She agreed and has used in once in approx 36 hours.

How do I get her to see that she needs help?

I admire you for your love and dedication to your wife and family. I can relate. My wife wanted to divorce me. Our youngest was 1-year-old. She did not have bp. I do. She went and did it.
Here's my quick take:
1. She needs to see a doctor, now, if she hasn't recently. The doc needs to get her med mix right. He needs to know her medicine history.
2. She, and you, need to strive for balanced living to reduce stress. Meaning: People, activities. Don't put all happiness eggs in one basket.
3. She needs to exercise, every day, and get enough sleep, every day.
4. She should go to group support if she can.
HERE'S THE SKINNY: She needs to see the value in taking care of herself, which will help the family and the marriage. If she doesn't care about those things, short of praying and talking to her, there's nothing more you can do.
Good luck. I'll pray for you and your family.
S

Wow, I know exactly how you feel. My mother has bipolar and so do I but I am getting help, she will not even admit she has the illness. It's frustrating and stressful but she will only get help if she wants to, that is all there is to it. :-(