Bipolar Depression

My son is 10 and bp. He's on Depakote, Abilify and Wellbutrin. My family life is so shaky, my "normal" daughter is threatening suicide, my husband wants out and I'm trying to hold it all together and can only do this by numbing myself with wine every night.

Patrick is very rapid cycling. He gets extremely vocal and will not take no for an answer. He's gotten physically violent and I know this will only get worse as time goes on. We've tried many different drugs, doctors, etc. I've been trying to find a local support group but there are none in my area. I am so alone in this. My husband doesn't support me or my son, my friends stay out of it, my daughter is only 13, my mother is 85, my inlaws think I spoiled Patrick and it's all my fault.
Were do I go from here???
Any advice or support or even sympathy) would be appreciated.

I offer you sympathy and to tell you that you are not alone.

You express feelings of being totally overwhelmed and believe me I know that feeling. I suffer from BP and everything overwhelms me from getting up to brushing my teeth these days.

I don't know your parenting style but I am gathering that with your son being BP, you didn't spoil him. Your in-law family does not understand the illness so they blame you. You are not to blame.

If your teenage daughter is threatening suicide, then she needs medical help asap. Don't take her threats lightly.

A little criticism though but meant with good intention - drinking the wine every night isn't going to help you or your son. So, though it is easing the tension and overwhelming feeling, in the long run it is not going to help.

Perhaps you could talk to a Pdoc, therapist, or your church for yourself, to care for yourself because as they say "if you were in a plane going down and there was little oxygen and your child depended on you - you're to give yourself the oxygen first so that you can help him/her."

Teri,

I agree with Marie. You might check out NAMI, which has help for families and other kinds of support groups you might find helpful in dealing with your son: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?section=Find_Support.

I feel for what you are going through and hope you can stay strong. You might check out GJ's blog because he has written a lot about being the parent of a bipolar child (and he is bipolar himself). You can find it at G.J. Gregory's Bipolar Blog.

Good luck, and let us know how things progress.

Lynne
Author of THE BIPOLAR DEMENTIA ART CHRONICLES: A MEMOIR

Wits,

My heart goes out to you and your children. Look i've been bipolar for a good portion of my life, and the behavior your son is exhibiting is something i did as a child.

And yes, our inlaws would blame my mother for surrendering to a tantrum lets say, if i couldn't handle a family gathering, holiday, birthday, i would either get physically ill with a stomache ache, or fly off the handle and an adult that I thought was deserving of a good ole tounge lashing.

My mother, doesn't drink, but she's a binge eater. Her and my dad spent YEARS trying to figure out why i counldn't function the way their "normal" eldest child did.

Take my advice, you and your children need group therapy. You and your daughter need it together, you and your son need it together. There is no way in hell you'll be able to cope from one day to another without some kind of theraputic management.

Your're in a war zone right now, and those {your realtives, friends} are coming from a place of ignorence, they have no idea how hard it is. They are either with you, or agaisnt you.

The only weapon is KNOWLEDGE i mean you must become so educated about bipolar, that you see your sons mood swings, tantrums, depression anxeity and pain before it comes.

I PROMISE you it will work, but you have to do the work for him right now ,because he's just a kid. Start charting his mood swings, keep a daily log, see what triggers them, find out what kind of cycle he is on. Does he have months or weeks or days of mania? Does he have months or weeks or days of depression? Is their a pattern, does certain activities trigger his anger? I mean nuclear warhead the diease with knowledge, you will see it.

Your daughter is upset because of the stress at home. MOM and Dad are at odds, my brother is a little terror and time is usually spent coping with the war at home. She probablly feels ignored and left out.

Try the best way you know how to make a strong bond with your kids. Show them and tell them that you are always a family, through and through. Right now your in the war together, make each other war buddies.

You just tell anyone that gets in the way of your family's health, to go !#@$#$ themselves. At the end of the day, You know whats best for your child. Keep your Head up Mama.

This is no ones fault.

Many prayers

You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.