Bipolar Depression

I am new here and newly diagnosed BP. My mother was MD, so it’s of no real surprise.

My depression was pretty normal but my manic came in the way of irritation, anger and rage. This was usually directed at family members, but others were in my attention also.

I came clean and was inpatient for 10 days. That's where the BP diagnosis came. I am now on Depakote and Prozac. Previously I had just been taking different antidepressants (which just ramped up my mania).

Today I am 58 days violence free. No outbursts, no physical violence. It feels really great, but at the same time I am dreadfully scared I may "fall off the wagon". I know every day of good, means one farther from bad, but I'm still scared.

I tried to get into an anger management program, but the therapist (really the only person who has openly "judged me") told me I ma a dangerous man and too angry for his group. Hi group is for people who have road rage, yell and might batter their spouse.

I am continuing with therapy, DBSA meetings and am looking to voluntarily enter a 52 week "court" program.

Does anyone have any advice, help, etc...?

I also have experience long term anger. Therapy has been useless. I would ike to know if anyone has found or experienced an effective method for reducing anger.

I have had for several days intense anger and rages and then heaving sobs. I get really irritable and "itchy" (wanting to scratch everyone). I get this for several days to a week or more at a time and was told it was a symptom of mania/hypomania.

As I stated above, I was rage full for 15 years. Today I am 69 days violence free.

The depekote I take has slowed down my thoughts enough that my cognitive therapy has been able to work and control my anger.

The first thing I have to realize was that "my anger is justified, but how I express it is what counts". For years and through many programs I heard that anger was a natural emotion. At the time I fully disagreed with that statement. In my mind I could not handle anger - like an alcoholic can't have a drink.

How can you stop a naturally occurring feeling? You can't! So every time I did get angry, I had failed yet again - what a vicious cycle. But if you understand that "my anger is justified, but how I express it is what counts" is the true key.

I am 69 days violence free – does that mean anger free – No. I have been irritated, angry and on the edge of rage – but I have not yelled, I have not hit, I have not grabbed, pushed or any of the other things I did on an almost daily basis.

There is one other statement I’d like to share that’s helped me – “People are disturbed not by the specific things or events, but by their thoughts, views, opinions and beliefs about those things or events”.

So – Was I really pissed that my son didn’t clean his room? No – I was pissed because he disrespected my rules, and in turn disrespected me. So why would I be pissed that I was disrespected? You can really break this down and find the true root of the issue.

Now mix in the Bipolar and all of its stuff. Stress ramps up the manic.

Best to all, Dave

I, too, have a problem with anger. When in traffic, I'd like to jump out and beat a guy to death for cutting in front of me. It's over-the-top, I take my meds and take care of myself, but it continues. I think I need to pound myself with more meds. Nothing else seems to work. I get angry when I'm on medication.

I know in my several year journey I have had a few med changes, increases, etc... I went from the generic Valproic Acid to the regular Depakote, and it made a large difference.

Also, taking a few magic pills isn't the full answer. Counseling is an essential part. A work book I got and use is called "Mind Over Mood". It deals with cognitive therapy. Very good stuff.

Finally, I also recommend finding a local DBSA meeting. DBSA is the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. The hold meetings for individuals and their families (if they desire). It has always been great to sit in a room with a whole group of people who deal with what I do.

I go to therapy and a week DBSA support group meeting. I also read books, take my meds, get exercise and enough sleep and avoid stress triggers. And I'm still angry.