Bipolar Depression

Share tips for parenting a bipolar child--and find helpful advice from other parents who've been there.

We have a bipolar son who is now 21. Raising him was a huge challenge, but I can honestly say I have always enjoyed our alone time as much, if not more, than any of our other 4 children.

Bipolar disorder can include obsessive behaviors, or focusing on activities and interests to a higher level than other children. Try to find and nurture those activities that will be good for them.

Recognize that in the manic times they will be difficult to live with. I learned to avoid drawing firm lines in the sand, normal rules don't seem to apply during periods of mania. Try to avoid threats and hard challenges to a child's behavior that they may be powerless to obey. And be firm, but loving and supportive. They will come out of a mania or depression and may be embarassed about their behavior - let them know you love them, and always will.

I made a LOT of mistakes, and continue to make mistakes, just as everyone will. Just keep the love and support flowing.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: GJ Gregory,

Hi, Jon. I'm so glad it turned out so well for you and your family. No doubt, raising you son was by far the greatest challenge of your life. You have every reason to be proud.

For other bipolar parents, there is hope. Yes, there is heartbreak as well. But there is also hope. Please check out www.bpkids.org.

My son is 20 and was recently diagnosed bipolar mania psychotic. Hes on 1250 depakote and 3 mg risperdol. Unknown to all of us hes been manic for a year, but psychotic for about 2 months. He was hospitalized and is attending a psycho-social outpatient program and is still very functioning socially with friends and his girlfriend. He had to quit college and cant hold down a job for longer then a month, sometimes less. He has some cognitive difficulties either due to his meds or his 5 year affair with pot and other drugs. His short term memory is poor, as well as quick decision making. Does anyone have experience as to when his psychotic features might stop? His insight is fair to poor, he is somewhat paranoid, has delusions that the govt. watches everyone, feels that he can communicate via esp, but does not hear voices or see things.

Bray - do you have a NAMI (National Alliance For The Mentally Ill) chapter in your area? If so, they offer a class called "Family to Family" that has an excellent reputation. It shows you how to effectively work with family members suffering from mental issues. It's highly recommended.

Having just read your blog of Thursday 4/5/06 I thought I'd add a couple of tips of my own as a bipolar parent of 3 kids one of whom shows signs (as yet undiagnosed) of bipolar disorder himself.

Never be afraid to say you are sorry if you have been less than reasonable, unfair or unkind (or dare I say it even downright cruel.) This can certainly happen during episodes of illness but I also advocate it to any parent of any child. My kids had a pretty rough time growing up but they all say that one thing they really respect me for is the fact that I would always say sorry if I realised I was in the wrong.

My other tip is to encourage them to be able to hold their own in any discussion/argument. I used to play devils advocate with them and argue that black was white in order to get them to be able to back up what they were saying. I have never minded what opinion they hold as long as they can back it up and are prepared to modify it if a better argument wins out. I have ended up with 3 bright articulate kids who aren't afraid to say what they think about things. Ok - this can be pretty irritating at times when I'm sure that I'm the one who is right but I've learned so much from them along the way as well as having taught them so much.

Keep going with the parenting that you are doing right now - you sound as though you have a wonderful family; bipolar notwithstanding.

Trying to figure things out. I too have a child who just this past March has been diagnosed Bipolar. Unfortunately we still are having a lot of adjustment issues. Today was one of them. When I last saw his mother a few hours ago she was in tears over how she is finding it hard to handle him. He is a rather large boy and even I have to admit he scares me at times. But I love him for all that I can. I just find it hard to figure out. I am new to this and really am trying but I don't understand it enough.

DP - I understand 100% what you're feeling. When the child stands up and says something like "What are you going to do about it?" it's very hard to know what to do.

You hit the nail on the head when you said you try to love him all you can. You're going about it right, seeking knowledge. Knowledge about bipolar disorder will come, you will eventually be able to read him better.

One thing that I would highly recommend is NAMI's (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) family to family class. This is a class that shows you how to live with a family member suffering from a mental or personality illness or disorder. If you are on the western side of your state there is a class starting in a week or two in Omaha. It will be Saturday mornings for 12 weeks. You can call them at (877)463-6264. If you're in another part of the state, look around for a chapter close to you. Here are numbers for you: (515)254-0417 (Des Moines) or (800)417-0417.

I have a 10 year old boy who has been diagnosed with bipolar. I am also bipolar. He cycles like crazy. His mood will change on a dime from rage, to depression to giddy. We are very concerned about putting him on meds and are wondering what drugs have been studied and found safe for children. His mood swings disrupt our family, make it difficult to keep friends and keep him from doing well in school. He also wets the bed every night. I have heard this is a bipolar trait but want to know if there if there is any way to treat it. Thanks.

I posted last march, its now late sept 2006. I just want to let everyone know that there is hope. My son just turned 21. He was manic and psychotic last march. He has stayed med compliant and has abstained from all drugs and drinking. To make a long story short, it was two steps forward one back, but progress has been fantastic. He has been on a strict diet of organic foods, mega vitamins and omega 3s, and choline. His meds were lowered down to 1000mg depakote and .025 risperdol. He graduated his psycho-social outpatient program but still works with his psychiatrist twice a week. His pdoc is amazing.
He works out 4 days a week, and plays tennis the other days. He gets at least 9 hours sleep a day. He has done a 180, he is back in college. He started last summer taking a simple class and then another. Now he is taking 12 credits and getting A's and B'S. He dropped all of his friends that are bad for his health. He started making new friends.
I understand that he may relapse at anytime, that things can turn around on a dime. But for now his life is good, and i can breath a little easier

Mercy can I relate to your post! Is the respirdal for the psychosis? My daughter was on it years ago, but I cannot recall it's use. I have 3 bipolar adult kids! The only one I am aware of that has psychosis issues is my oldest, who was just diagnosed a few months ago. He will be 30 in April. He sounds very similar to your son in being abit paranoid. Does your son have like delusions of grandeur or anything? Mine thinks he has been in the secret service and had to kill people overseas. Totally not true. He also may have scizo tendency mixed in I fear. What other meds did you say your son was on? My youngest age 24 is now on Lamictal...and so far it has been pretty effective. Her worst problem is the depression...but we have dealt with some humdingers of manic episodes as well. Is your son a rapid cycler? My kids all went through the years of drug usage as well, and I am not totally convinced a few of them are not still using somewhat, or at least smoking pot. They each have 2 kids as well, and just this past few weeks I was informed one of my grandkids is being checked out for early onset childhood type bipolar. Here we go again! I would love to know if it gets easier as they age and mature???? Best of luck to you and yours.