Bipolar Depression

Hi, i have a 5 yr old son he is diagnosed with adhd. He is on risperdal and focalin xr. His dad and i have been seperated for 2 years now. I had him put on the meds after struggling with anger/emotional/hyper issues for as long as i can remember... Well he was doing ok on the meds, listening to me, a little hyper still but there wasnt as much argueing or tantrums like before this would go on fot hours! Well his dad doesnt agree with the medication, so sometimes he will :forget" to give it to him when he is there, sometimes the whole weekend and sometimes just a day. When he comes back to me he freaks out at the littlest thing, like tonite i told him no about something and he went A-wall! He screamed, threw things yelled at me, told me no he dont want to...nothing would help. not grounding, taking things away or spanking all he did was cry and cry until his chest and his head hurt! It was terrible! I couldnt get him to calm down! I dont know what to do. Then his dad says he is fine over there, he "listens" to him... i dont know is it possible he is biploar? His psych told me it is something they want to test for in the future...but what do i do as far as his dad not giving him meds? How do i deal with him when he acts like this? Im scared, if he were a teen i could not control him! Please help me!

I understand where you are coming from. My daughter was the exact same way and I had the exact same reaction from her Dad. I left her Dad when she was 3 and that is when she really began to show such opposition, defiance and hyperness. She was diagnosed with ADHD but her Dad said it was all in my head and I was the crazy one. He said she was good for him so it must be me and would refuse to ever treat her. My daughter would refuse to take any pills and I could not hold her down to take then. When Daytrana the ADHD patch came out, I put her on that but she lost weight and became really withdrawn so I took her off. Her outbursts, anger, mood swings became so unbearable. She was recently diagnosed with Bipolar. Your story reminds me so much of what I go through. Once minute she is fine and two seconds later she is angry, throwing things at me not listening, telling me no and purposfully it seems trying to make me go crazy. She also hates to bath and it is an act of god to get her to brush her teeth. Is your son that way too? We go back to the Phsycologist on the 18th. I just have to remain sane until I can get her under control. I totally feel where you are coming from.

I feel for you both, I have a husband that we are trying to get diagnoised with BP but I will say his daughter who lives with us and is 17 sounds just like your kids when she was younger and even some now. When she doesnt get her way she is horrible, she calls us horrible names throws things, hits her head on the wall and floor, just a wk ago we had to take her to the DR cause she thought she broke her hand hitting the garage floor when told no, then she cries and goes crazy. I am like you snf if I can stay sane that is a Gods sent

Is your husbands daughter on medication? I wonder how my daugher will be in a few years. My husband does not know how to deal with it, so I feel like a single parent. Yeah, the second I say the forbidden word "no" all hell breaks loose. The throwing herself on the ground, kicking the garbage over or the cubbards, throwing things at me. Heaven forbid I tell her she can't have more cookies. She finds a way to make me miserable. I find she is better in the morning and out to make life hell when I get her from school. Is that the same for you?

hi brinad and anyone else;
when i read your post, it felt as though i wrote it. i too have a 5 year old with BP and ADD/ADHD combined, FAE & sensory dysfunction.
whoa.
you are NOT crazy. please get the book "the bipolar child" by dimitri and janice papolos. it is just amazing to finally see all that you talk about, in print. one sentence in the book had a huge effect on this entire disaster. bipolar children act out in the home, hidden from the rest of the world. that is what makes this whole thing so hard. no one believes that the little angel could possibly do those things. i begged the doctors and therapists to come and set up cameras in my home! my own flesh and blood family thought it was just bad parenting. i got MANY interventions from them telling me that my son acts this way because we let him!!!!!!
well, here we all are, in this "club", that no one wants to be a member of.
my heart breaks the most for my son. did this poor child ask to be this way? how dare i not be compassionate and educated in his issues. it is one of the hardest things we will ever do...but God doesn't make mistakes.
anytime, anytime you need to talk, i will be there for any of you.

I just found this website today. I totally hear what everyone is saying. I can't tell you how many times I've been told just to swat my sons rear, or don't you think he's just a brat.

By the way, I'm Debbie, mother of a 10 year old son with bipolar and an 8 year old daughter.

The Bipolar Child is AWESOME! We also belong to the county mental health and I'm very impressed with their parent support. I have a person assigned to me and we talk about once a month unless I need her. She basically just makes me feel like things are okay and I'm still doing a good job.

I actually homeschool my son. In 2nd grade, the school resource officer put him in handcuffs for being under a table. We later found out he has Asperger, a high functioning autism. He was on an IEP, but they didn't follow it. They did everything against the IEP and then when he kicked them, they said it was a police matter and the IEP didn't work. This was an extreme case, I know other schools are not this cruel. My daughter is back in the public school (not the same school district). It was not fair to her to be around the outbursts.

I just suggest everyone hang in there. My son was put on an anti-depressant recently that put him over the edge. We are on about week 4 or 5 and trying to get him stable. He's never been officially diagnosed, but BP runs in my family. We're now with one of the head Psychiatrists in our county office and he will be giving him the official diagnosis tomorrow. No one wants to listen. When he was 5, we took him to a counselor who said no kid under 5 is violent. They should have been at daycare!

We're all in this together,

Deb -KS

I need help. My 4.5 year old grandson is out of control. He has been kicked out of daycares mutliple times, he has raging fits screams, kicks yells, throws things, bites, hurts smaller children and this fit will go on for hours. he has tried to jump out of a moving vehicle. He is psychotic at times. I am going to get the book the bipolar child tonight and read it, he is being treated for adhd with adderall and clonidine and these help but the rages continue. I have decided to get a camcorder and document his behavior and take it to the dr. he sees a pedi psych dr. I am concerned about this child being able to have any quality of life and his mother also.

Hi Debbie / Pam! I really liked the Bipolar Child book. It really does help put things in prospective. It is so hard when others don't understand the illness and are so quick to judge you and your child. I feel like I am always having to defend myself and my daughter. It is hard enough having to deal with this on a daily basis. I have often wondered if my daughter has aspergers as well. She has always been socially behind and displays many of the characteristics. She is now on Serequel and that worked really well the first few weeks and then the rages and defiance came back. I now give her the medicine in the morning instead of the evening and that seems to help a bit. I really wish there was a support group locally, but I have not been able to find one. I feel very alone with trying to deal with this. People just don't understand or don't even want to. They have this image or expectation of how a child should act and are so quick to judge and tell you what you must be doing wrong. It breaks my heart. Sometimes I just want to give up, but I just need to be strong. I find myself crying many times a week because I feel so helpless with trying to help my daughter. I would do or give anything to make her better or feel better. Thanks for listening.

NOW MY 5 YEAR OLD GRANDSON HAS HAD TO BE PLACED IN A PSYCH HOSPITAL .... I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO....I THINK HE IS AUTISTIC AND BIPOLAR AND ADHD ARE JUST SISTERS OFF OF THAT.

okay home from the hospital what a joke that was. we are no further along now then we were before hosp except I did hear a doctor finally say some form of autism like aspergers..but he could not diagnose him b/c he had no behaviors for 5 days....no crapping on himself either!!! so is home for 3 days and is kicked out of the 5th daycare provider!!! and he crapped himself x2 today, urinated all over her toilet and laughed and said it was funny when she asked him why he done it, he then elbowed his sister in the chest very hard, began spitting and when redircted started to spit on himself. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I feel so bad for my poor daughter..
I dunno how she tolerates his behaviors....

Hello all, I am a professional Family Support worker. I am the parent of a bipolar child who is now 17. I wanted to let you know that if a doctor prescribes medication for your child, and the absentee parent (no custodial parent) refuses to give the child his/her medication, you can make a hotline call for medical neglect. I know you may not want to cross that bridge, but just remember, this is your child's well-being your are talking about. if there is a court ordered visitation, then go back to court over it (at his cost). It is so important that your child take the medication all the time, if you do not instill this into them at an early age, then they will not be consistant with it as adults. Good luck to you!

First off I could have written a couple of these messages as well. We have struggled with ADHD and possibly bipolar disorder for a few years now. We have been through different meds, quantities and doctors.

I know this is an older thread but I thought I would add my 2 cents to the child medication issue. My wife and I have a diagnosed son with ADHD on 30mg of Vyvanse and a 6 year old daughter diagnosed ADHD and now possibly bipolar disorder. I myself am ADHD and wasnt diagnosed or given medication until I was 30. I have issues with children being prescribed medications and this has been a struggle between my wife and I. The decision to put our kids on medication was a process and the key points for me were:

1. Learning-the ability to succeed in school and our childrens right to be allowed to succeed. Would you send your child to school without their prescription glasses? If your child functions better and requires to the medication to allow themselves and the rest of the children around them to learn, why take that away from them?

2. These medications are serious. It is tough to get regulated and on an even keel with these medications. It is unfair to your child to neglect a medication that they have been taking because they don't fully understand the medications nor the effects of being taken off of them causing uneeded frustration and confusion. It is essentially playing chemical head games with your child.

I may hinder our process but I feel like the moderator between prescription happy doctors and our, sometimes, dire need for relief. We also have parents,our childrens grand parents, that do not approve of our kids on medications but they understand the points above and don't want to screw with their grandchildrens heads.

I hope these arguments help someone with a difficult spouse, ex or family member and that they can drop their old school ideals and realize that this is for the childs benefit. It is better to be part of the process and try to moderate than it is to have your child suffer for no reason, unless their idea of fun is to send their, possibly, half blind child to school without their glasses.

Good luck to all,

THe RockinRs

thehelper - not all states recognize medical neglect if the meds in question are psychotropic. MO is one such (exceptionally backward) state. i know from experience (unfortunately).

i'm new to this forum but i could have written any of these posts. my oldest is now 7 1/2 and just made it out of 1st grade. the only thing that keeps him from failing school is that he seems to have above-average intellect but i know that won't last forever. since he was 18 months old i have fielded endless phone calls and sat through countless meetings with child care providers and educators. my son has seen therapists, psychiatrists, and been hospitalized 3 times (2x inpatient, 1x day treatment). we are currently on our 3rd psych group and this one seems to be promising, at least they are not afraid to be aggressive in finding a solution. unfortunately my son's bio father is also bp (undiagnosed and untreated) and only contributes to the problem with his obvious hatred for me and my husband, his own mood swings, and his refusal to consistently provide my son with medication. i hold on to hope that we will eventually find the magic mix that allows my son to live a normal, happy life, but in the meantime, i watch him suffer, knowing he feels like hell but doesn't know why, and wonder what the future brings.

it's tragic. and what's more tragic is, with the dismal state of mental health research in this country, it's not likely to improve in the foreseeable future.