Bipolar Depression

I'm not sure that my son is Bi-polar. I have been taking him to a psychologist for about 2 months now and she is hesitant to give any diagnosis at this time. I began taking my son to the psychologist due to his erratic behaviour since beginning kindergarten. In hindsight this behaviour has been going on a lot longer than that. I should also mention that my son's father (whom i am divorced) has a lenghty history of mental illness that includes bi-polar disorder and alcoholism.

The behaviour seems to be getting worse, not better. He hits kids at schooll, and gets in their face. He doesn't seem to comprehend personal space. It appears to the teacher that my son does things just to annoy the other children. he walks by all their desks and pushes the pencil boxes off. He will grab papers or books from them and rip them up. He now is licking the other children.

I have done all that I can think of to show him that his behaviour will not be tolerated. I have done the time outs, spanked him, taken toys and privilages away, and now I have resorted (per the psychologists suggestion) to holding my son down until he stops his tantrums, screaming at me, back talking, hitting, etc. Nothing seems to work. It is almost as if he doesn't care.

I don't neccesarily want to have my child placed on medication. I'm also not suggesting that he is bi-polar...however, everything I have read seems to point to that, or to oppositional defiant disorder. Can anyone tell me what their child with bi-polar disorder acted like...what were the red flags? Anything? I don't think my son is hyperactive because he can sit still...albeit only when he wants to. He doens't have a problem focusing on things if he is interested in them...

Any help or advise would be appreciated.

Thanks

I am not a doctor. I am a mother of now adult son. My son had.has ADHD. As an adult, he copes very well. However, the behaviours you have described were the same things he did. He ran throught the class knocking rulers off desks, saying whatever came into his head to teachers and other children, could not curb impulses at all, bit children, had ticks and twitches he could not control, had poor concentration in group situations (school0. He also had very good concentration one to one, or when interested i a topic. He had super excellent in fact. It can also be a trait of ADHD. I know that no ususal behaviour intervention was effective. Timeouts did not work, because his attention span was not there anyway, and it was punishing him for behaviour he could not control. Spankings just made him scared and mad. Privileges lost are soon forgotten. The main thing is, the impl;uses were not controllable. Ihad to learn he could not manage them, and it was not his fault and he was not bad. I never held him down. That would have made him crazy. I had to learn ways to meet him in his frustration. I had to learn to touch him in a way that he could understand. I developed a focus with and for him. I would touch his arm and say calmly, *I am here to help. I know you are upset and need help. I love you*. It took time, and some judged me for not being more punitive. But he needed compassion and help. so, I gave it to him. Maybe your child has other issues. Maybe it is oppositional defiance. I do not know. I do not beleive in holding a child down, and in many circles it is considered detrimental in the long run. Imagine if you were that upset, and some one so big did not ffer understanding, butpinned you down. Please learn all you can about these disorders by reading books and looking for alternative strategies. My son is now 32. He remembers that I expressed care and compassion, and that this is what helped him copemost of all. Just imagine how hard it is to be so small, and have no life skills and not know what is happening inside your head? Must be scary. I used to say those things to my child. *You might be scared. I understand. I will help*. It helped. And tell him you love him many times a day. Recognize when he is managing. I had a deal with the school, whenever he was acting out too much, I would go get him and bring him home. It calmed him down. It was not giving in to his behaviours, because he could not be thought of in the same way as other children. He needed a different approach, so he could succeed. He made it through school, has wonderful friends, a great job, and a woman who is so sweet and accepting. I know he respects people, and he accepts himslef. That was always my main goal..that he accept himself and learn how to cope. Good luck. check out all the possibilities, and be open to gentle approaches.

I am the mother of a child with bipolar and adhd. I am not a doctor. I found a lot of success and understanding of my sons actions when he was younger by reading The Out of Sync Child. It was very enlightening. My son also had quite a bit of trouble with understanding other peoples personal space and would rage out of frustration. There is also a companion book called The Out of Sync Child Has Fun with lots of activities that are focused on helping children with understanding personal space, working on their motor skills, and various other things. The kids love the fun activites and learn while they play. I also found it was helpful to have more structured time and less "down time".