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I have a 24 year old daughter that is bipolar, and she is all about "her". She does not mind putting everyone else out, as long as she gets her way it seems. But on the other hand, she does not expend much energy doing for anyone else! She constantly wants me to do for her, calls me at work wanting me to leave so she can use my car, which is a hassle sometimes for me. Then she leaves it up to me to get her child off the bus, so I have to walk down to get her, as she has my car...I think not! Then she is angry at me! Also I told her I cannot afford to keep financing and loaning her and her husband money. His mom even moved in there to help with finances, and they still are short! I am beginning to question where the money goes...and thinking it might not be good. Also They got a lovely chunk from taxes, are dirt poor really, crappy car etc, and what do they do? Buy a $1000 big screen tv, and a computer!!!!!! Then the next week both of their vehicles break down! I told them they need to learn how to save...but it's like it burns a hole in their pocket. I am angry...advice for a very upset mom?
My daughter is 28 and has bipolar and very similar personality. It's only give-give-give to her... Besides she has been blaming me for Everything including her illness. She is a smart lady finishing her Masters degree, but emotionally she is like an early teenager.
It's absolutely doesn't matter how much I do trying to do my very best to help her. Nothing is enough. I just received the most ugly email letter from her out of a blue. Blame, blame, blame...
And you know what? After 9 nightmarish years of struggle, extreme helplessness and disappointment, I am giving up.
As terrible as it sounds, sometimes to give up is the right thing to do. Any relationship is bidirectional. If her choice is not to be somewhat decent and respectful to me, then I am helpless and I give up.
She is married, so she is not alone. I will definitely help her in case of crisis but otherwise ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
Thanks for your response. I guess I have my answer then. I did the same thing you did. I sent her an e-mail (because I cannot have a rational and calm conversation with her). I told her I am finished bailing her out financially, and also will not support them as far as coming back to live in my home. I suggested drug rehab to her, and she sent the e-mail back very angry, which I expected. It is all about her...no matter how much it puts anyone else out. I am in fact raising her 8 year old daughter, and have all her life. I am like you...I give up after 8 years of dealing with her drama. Keep in touch. My e-mail address is dfcatfish@yahoo.com
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