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Recently married a man whose daughter is being re-classified from mood disorder to bipolar. She was adopted at birth,her parents divorced when she was very young. Her adopted mom passed away when the child was 7 of brain cancer, moved in with her single dad, no other children. I come into the picture 3 yrs later. It's been brutal just understanding the fact her dad met someone to share his life with and hopefully, would be woman role model for his daughter. Aside from the normal jealousy I saw some mental issues with her but no one believed it. The family seemed to tip toe and give this child power. She could smell their fear. I will not allow that to happen although she has tried to break me down so many times, I can't count. Finally, her father reluctantly realizes she needs help, gets the meds, abilify, and also counseling. She is also diagnosed with ODD and they're evaluating her for learning disabilities. She has been able to contain her bipolar disorder at school to some degree but since she's turned 13, has her period, the hormones are playing major havoc and she is totally out of control. She stopped taking her meds as we can't force her. finally, through 4 days of manic behavior and weilding a box cutter near her dad and me, did her aunt admit and realized she needs the meds. The child hates me to no end, but will be real sweet with me one minute {when she wants something} and then gives me the nastiest looks and tries to provoke me for hours on end when her dad isnt' here. A few years back, her bio dad wrote her parents a letter saying he was recently diagnosed being bipolar himself and wanted them to know. I'm at wit's end. And our marriage is stressed to the max. Any suggestions?
I first want u to know I'm right there with you but I've been doing this with a 16/17 yr old boy for the last 14 yrs. I feel your pain, frustration, anger...yes we are allowed, care and compassion. I can tell you emphatically to find support....not only for your step daughter but yourself. If you lose yourself in all of this....it...well lets just say it could be devastating, been there. I was the first to notice issues with my stepson, and have been there every step of the way, pratically living in the residential facilities with counseling, therapy and everything we could find. My step was diagnosised when he was in first grade with ADD...then 2nd grade Gifted, ADD, ODD and mood disorder not otherwise specified. Then the bipolar diagnosis because it was very evident after the second hospitalization. We sought help from Behavioral Health facitilies which were a help, all be it expensive if you don't have insurance. You can get help through your state also. Check around for a good psychitrist and have her evaluated, and if you don't like the one you are using...find another, its ok to want the best. Get a psychologist for her counseling. There are many programs depending on what state you live in. I don't know what your circumstances are with your husband, is he accepting of the problems, does he want to seek treatment for her, is he supportive of you, etc.? Again, I am right there with you on the 'it never happens when the connected parent (bio or adopted) is around....mine has serious anger issues and has been violent. I'm actually reaching out today because we are in a position now that mine is going to Job Corp, non-residential, was living with his bio mom that is undiagnosed BP for a temporary time because of my health, I allowed him to come back to our house for the 45 day wait period to get into JC dorm and he has possibly blown it because of yet another outburst here at home. Its kind of a 'him or me' situation. But if you would like I will try to give you some ideas, share things we have tried...and believe me we have tried alot of things...but just be there to support. I have a therapist that I go too just for me...and if you think that is unwarranted....remember what I said about taking care of yourself. Pls excuse typos and misspells....my fingers don't like to work with my brain these days! lol Blessings...KFC
but I've been doing this with a 16/17 yr old boy for the last 14 yrs. I feel your pain, frustration, anger...yes we are allowed, care and compassion. I can tell you emphatically to find support....not only for your step daughter but yourself. If you lose yourself in all of this....it...well lets just say it could be devastating, been there. I was the first to notice issues with my stepson, and have been there every step of the way, pratically living in the residential facilities with counseling, therapy and everything we could find. My step was diagnosised when he was in first grade with ADD...then 2nd grade Gifted, ADD, ODD and mood disorder not otherwise specified. Then the bipolar diagnosis because it was very evident after the second hospitalization. We sought help from Behavioral Health facitilies which were a help, all be it expensive if you don't have insurance. You can get help through your state also. Check around for a good psychitrist and have her evaluated, and if you don't like the one you are using...find another, its ok to want the best. Get a psychologist for her counseling. There are many programs depending on what state you live in. I don't know what your circumstances are with your husband, is he accepting of the problems, does he want to seek treatment for her, is he supportive of you, etc.? Again, I am right there with you on the 'it never happens when the connected parent (bio or adopted) is around....mine has serious anger issues and has been violent. I'm actually reaching out today because we are in a position now that mine is going to Job Corp, non-residential, was living with his bio mom that is undiagnosed BP for a temporary time because of my health, I allowed him to come back to our house for the 45 day wait period to get into JC dorm and he has possibly blown it because of yet another outburst here at home. Its kind of a 'him or me' situation. But if you would like I will try to give you some ideas, share things we have tried...and believe me we have tried alot of things...but just be there to support. I have a therapist that I go too just for me...and if you think that is unwarranted....remember what I said about taking care of yourself. Pls excuse typos and misspells....my fingers don't like to work with my brain these days! 
lol Blessings...KFC 
