Anxiety

My son is 19 and is suffering from Social anxiety disorder. Even though he claims to not be able to go look for a job; no car, and won't do public transportation, he is for the most part living on the computer playing video games. He has a girlfriend of 5 years who has been there for him,as she works p/t to help pay his cell bill and food etc, but he is needing to get a job and move out with her,she lives with us too, so do you think someone who has SAD would at least go out once in a while or does he play games to escape real life and not have to deal with responsibilities. I would like to hear from any parents of teens or teens themselves who are suffering from this disorder and how they deal with it.

Karin,

The longer your son refuses to leave the house, the worse his social anxiety will get. You are not helping him by providing a place for him and his girlfriend to live free and do nothing productive. If you can't get your son to go to therapy, go yourself. You might also look for a support group for families of those with mental illness run by the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI). Check out their website at NAMI.

There is medication that may help your son if his anxiety is severe, but the first step is for him to be evaluated and a plan made to help him. Whether he goes to community college part-time or does volunteer work, he needs to begin to get out of the house doing something productive.

Good luck to all of you.

Lynne
Author of The Bipolar Dementia Art Chronicles

I agree, the more he isolates himself the worse it will get. He needs to force himself to get out there and face his inhibitions before he loses all will to do so. This is the only thing that worked for me.

If this is truly an illness, how do you justify forcing them out of the house? I understand in this post if the girlfriend lives there why there is more than one enabler around, and if they are together they need to be responsible for themselves.

As Lynne's post sparked emotion I had questions... I struggled with the "illness" side of alcoholism with my ex husband. I came to terms with it. With him I could divorce. Truly overcame the need to give until it hurt - both of us. I did ALL I could possibly do before I made the decision to divorce. I can't divorce my child. He's just turned 21, going to counseling, but won't medicate (fear of addiction due to father). He lives a very "no frills" life. I suggested removing the internet from home (big inconvience for me) but his therapist advised against it.

I guess my question/comment is - would you kick someone with cancer out of your house because they couldn't/didn't work? Just where is the line between I need to be responsible for myself and I can't be responsible for myself because I have an illness?

I am a mom of a 15 year old with severe social anxiety. It started when he first started school and over time has gotten worse. He also stays in his room and either sleeps or is on the computer. He does not go outside anymore (just to do the garbage). He takes medication and has a therapist who comes to the house, but the therapist does not think he is helping and is thinking of quitting. My son has not been to school in 2 years. The only way I could probably get him out of the house was to hire some big thugs (my son is quite big and very strong for his age)or get the police. Either idea I think would be frowned upon and probably would make my son worse. He was depressed at one time and was in a hospital unit for teens with mental health problems. It seemed to help him and was told they wouldn't release him until there were all sorts of support in the community for him. He was released after a month and I got no help from the community until 5 months later when his anxiety was worse than when he went into the hospital and no one knows what to do with him now. I am worried he might get agoraphobia if he does'nt go anywhere. He also has ADHD, ODD(oppositional defiant disorder) and at one time OCD. My son also learned at a early age that if he didn't want to do something he wouldn't do it no matter what. I think this interferes with his recovery. Does anyone know if there is another way to deal with social anxiety disorder other than medicine and CBT?

These types of Social anxiety disorders are now very common issue in our country. A good number of teenagers are suffering from it. Social anxiety is an illness which can be cured buy medication. Consult with a doctor for this issue and take medication for it. Xanax is one of the best medicines for depression, anxiety, stress and this type of mental health disorders. But don’t take it without doctor perception. If you want you can get more information about it at http://www.xanax-effects.com/anxiety_and_panic.html#social_anxiety

carma - how is your son doing?
Ours is very similar. He is 17 and newly diagnosed. Our hearts go out to you.

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: Weird phobias,

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: mitchell,

The first thing you need to do for chronic anxiety chronic anxiety is take your son to the doctor. I know this sounds like the first thing you would do but it is really important.

My aunt is suffering from anxiety. She takes some meds for treatment (orders from costmeds.com ). Meds works good for her. Ask your doctor, which pill is better for you. Hope' it'll be useful.