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I am new to this board and am really needing support from others who are going through the same thing. My mother is in a nursing home for the last 10 months. My problem is dealing with the delusions she is having and how to respond. She keeps telling me some of her friends came a few days ago and she stayed for awhile in other places and now she wants to go back to her original room. My mom has been in the same room at the same home for the whole 10 months. There have been no visits from friends like she says. I argue with her and it makes things worse. Any suggestions?
Delusions are never easy to deal with when you are the caregiver. What I've learned is to go along with the flow and don't argue with your loved one. Their reality is no longer yours - and your reality is no longer theirs. Your main concern as a caregiver now is to make sure that they are in a safe place and are healthy and taken care of. Arguing to prove a point just agitates a person with Alzheimer's Disease because in their reality, they are right. And that may prompt acting out or trying to leave the nursing home, which you don't want to happen.
My Mom, who was diagnosed with AD in Sept. 2005 and who has been in a nursing home since Oct. 2005, often has delusions. On a regular basis, she thinks she's working at the store she owned (which in reality closed in the mid-1990s), is looking for her father (who died in the 1970s), and is worried that she'll be late for her wedding (she's been married for 50 years). What I've learned to do when she brings these issues up is to reassure Mom that all is (or will be) OK (she won't be late for the wedding; I haven't seen her father recently, etc.), to listen and to be a regular presence at the nursing home.
Hang in there - and let me know what other questions you have or situations you are facing.
Thanks for the information. It really helps to know other people are going through the same kinds of things I am. I voiced my concerns with the Nursing Home about my Mom's mental decline. Her doctors ran a urinalysis, culture, and a battery of blood tests that were all negative. The concensus is sometimes AD can take a spiral downhill plunge like this. They have increased her anti-psychotic drugs to twice a day and have Ativan ordered for agitation. She seems to be somewhat better. My usual visits to the Nursing Home include Wednesday and Saturdays to take her out to eat and driving, shopping, etc. An hour or so after the visit she does not remember I have been to visit.
I'm glad you have your doctor involved. That's a great move. Too often, I've seen some of my family members (myself included) want to make snap decisions based on what we see, even though we don't have the medical training.
One point that you mentioned did trigger a question....do you think the trips out of the nursing home could be causing some of the additional confusion? I only ask that because in 2005, we brought Mom over to my house for Thanksgiving. She only stayed for the meal, and my brother took her back to the nursing home. But I heard from the nursing staff that Mom had been very disoriented for several days afterwards. The same thing happened at Christmas 2005. So our family decided at that point that the kinder thing to do for Mom was to take everything to the nursing home (i.e. we brought in dinner for my parents' wedding anniversary to the nursing home as opposed to going out to eat this year).
My Mom is 3 years into her Alzheimer's and she is just now starting to have Hallucinations and Delusion. She swears that my Dad drilled a well for the Anthony Family (little Caylee Anthony) down in Florida and she tha saw her. She says that she sat in the truck and watched Caylee play under a tree the entire time my Dad was drilling the water well. This DID NOT happen. My Dad drills water wells in GA but he has NEVER drilled one in Florida. She has seen this on the news but how she got that idea in her mind is beyond me. When my sister, brother and other family members hear her say that they are shocked. She tells it so believable they ask me if it is true. We have tried to tell that did not happen but she gets irate and says " Don't tell me what I know, I am not stupid or crazy and you are trying to make me think I am". What can I do? Should I let her continue to believe that. Trying to correct her isn't working. As of late, dirt on the floor is bugs to her. I can pick it up and show her but in her mind that speck of dirt is a bug. She will get mad, start crying and it is just heartbreaking to go through this on a daily basis. I am at a loss as to what to do. The Doctor says it is part of the diease. It is just SO HARD!
My dad has been having hallucinations since January. This was the first we knew there was a problem, he had hid it well till then. His hallucinations are constant. He thinks there are people living in his house and doing things to him and mom and night. For a while he would stay awake for days on end to keep watch on what they were doing. At first we did go along with it so we didn't argue with him cause he believes wholeheartedly they are real, but when they started doing things to him and mom we had to tell him it's not real and his mind is playing tricks on him. His cognitive decline has been very rapid and we had to take his driver's license recently because of his hallucinations. He can't get over that one. Now off and on he believes us kids are working with the "people". It breaks my heart every time I go visit (once or twice a week)to listen to him and have to explain it to him again and again. He has to be living a nightmare constantly. I can't even imagine what it's like for him and I feel terrible. I have found my stomach feels sick most of the time just because this is killing me. I cry alot and that helps for a while, but not long anymore. Not sure what to do from here, but just keep going day by day.
