Make a connection, ask a question, share a concern, give advice or just chat. Our message boards connect you with a community of people who understand where you’re coming from and what you’re going through.
My mother is a 76 year old women in the middle stages of alzheimers. She has been married to a man for 6 years..for the past year he has been trying to get rid of her and the relationship became abusive. She is now living with me and my husband. She moved in about six weeks ago, since then she has been in a constant state of crying and has made her self so sick we had to take her to the emergency room. Every conversation we have or that she has with anyone else revolves around her soon to be ex-husband. She is severly depressed and I do not know what to do to help her move on. Please let me know if any one has any advice that may help me and my mom.
Your mother needs a good doctor who specializes in gerontology or treating the elderly. There may be medication, such as anti-depressants, that will help her through this.
You would very likely benefit from an Alzheimers caregiver support group. If you contact your local department of aging, you should be able to find one. There also may be a support group for your mother, or a "day care" program she could benefit from. Check out AlzheimersSupport.Com.
Good luck. I know how very difficult this must be.
I think Lynne has made some really great points about how to handle this traumatic situation. The doctor will help determine what else (besides Alzheimer's) is going on with your mom. Besides depression, there could be some anxiety or paranoia that are fueling your mom's reactions. Getting specific medical feedback is critical to helping your mom.
I also think Lynne's suggestion of finding adult day care for your mom is important. It's easy for people with Alzheimer's Disease to isolate themselves, but finding a sense of community at an adult day care might help provide her with some equilibrium. These programs also might give her something to focus on so she gets some respite from her emotions about the ex-husband.
Also, does your mom participate in a particular church? If so, could the minister provide some support?
Another option that always seemed to calm down my mom was having a pet around (in her case, a dog). The simple act of petting her minature schnauzer seemed to calm her frustrations down.
Also, be sure to take care of yourself as you take care of your mom's situation. Good luck!
I think that Lynne and Dorian have given some great advice about your Mom. I know that with my Dad he is getting cabin fever and when he just gets out of the house to go to the doctor, it is a real treat for him.
I think trying to get your Mom involved in some kind of a daycare place where she can meet other people and get her mind off of her problems. I know that sitting in her room and crying all the time is just going to be so bad for her. She is just like anyone else in the fact that she needs other people and even a pet would be a good thing. Maybe a little dog she could take for a walk when you can go with her.
I can't add anymore than Lynne and Dorian did. I wish you the best of luck with your Mom. What a terrible thing her ex-husband has done to her. My Dad is just going through the start of Alzheimers and it is so very tough on my Mom and the rest of the family.
I hope and pray that your Mom can find peace. She is so lucky that you and your wonderful husband can take her in and let her live with you.
I think that Lynne and Dorian have given some great advice about your Mom. I know that with my Dad he is getting cabin fever and when he just gets out of the house to go to the doctor, it is a real treat for him.
