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My father has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers, though I think he's had it for quite some time. I feel like I've given him every tool in the book to be able to remember the day of the week but no matter how many clocks and calendars he has he is still disoriented most of the time. Someone mentioned that he may not be able to read a calendar or clock (even though he has digital clocks) anymore. How do I find out what he can comprehend - do I just ask him? Thanks, I'm awfully new at this! Lisa
I know what you're going through. My father had severe short term memory loss and it affected his sense of time tremendously. He often thought several days had passed when it was only a few hours, for example. So your father may also have a distorted sense of time, and that would make it difficult for him to know what day or time it was.
Here's one suggestion: is it possible to simply ignore your father's disorientation to the day and time? What I mean is, does he need to know this information? It would probably be easier for him if you or someone else could simply remind him when it was time to do a particular activity, rather than expecting him to know. Hope this helps.
Hi Lisa, My mother-in-law and my mother - hmmm, my dad, too, come to think of it - all "needed" to have watches. None of them could really tell the time anymore, but they would always notice if the battery was dead, so I had to keep them replaced. I think we spend so much of our lives under-the-gun with time, that it becomes ingrained in us that we must know, even when we can't make sense of clocks or time itself. I tried reminders, flash card type things, big calendars, all of that stuff, but I found I just had to make sure they had clocks and watches so the *felt* in charge, but then I had to operate as their reminder/clock/timer. And I had to do it as gently as possible. Sometimes all you can do is your best, and that has to be good enough. Each patient is different. You are right to experiment. Keep looking and reading and asking. Someone may have the magic bullet for your situation. But the sense of time, plus the ability to use the tools we use to tell time, seem to disappear long before the perceived need to *know* the time. So it can be a battle. Best to you. Keep trying new twists, but don't beat yourself if they don't work. Hang in and keep in touch.
You know it's hard to gauge what your loved one does and doesn't know. I remember when Mom was taking "the test" (those list of questions they use) prior to being released from the hospital after her initial diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease. The nurse asked her if she knew what the date was. I watched Mom look over his shoulder to the calendar on the wall (which listed that day's date only) and read it off to him. On his sheet, the nurse indicated that Mom had answered that question correctly. What I learned is that Mom covers up what she knows and doesn't know. I also took the idea of having a eraseable white-board displayed in her room where I could list day, date and appointments so she had a mental organizer.
A couple of months later, I thought Mom could no longer read since she was barely flipping through the magazines she wanted me to bring when I visited. But one day she was watching CNN and could read the crawl listing the latest news at the bottom of the screen. So you really have to do a little spying to determine your loved one's level of ability.
So the trick that works for me is to watch Mom for a prolonged period of time in various situations where I can engage her and also ask her questions (in a non-threatening way) to determine what she can and can't do.
Wow, did Dorian's answer bring back memories! My mom was queen of covering up. Everybody who visited her wondered what she was doing in a nursing home. She was perfectly fine, except for her arthritis. Of course, if the same person went back the next day, they would get totally different answers to the same questions. She just covered so well and was so charming, it was really tough to determine where she was mentally. Often, she made me look like a bad daughter for saying she had dementia and her memory was bad. I even had trouble convincing trained hospice people - until they'd been with her a few days. Hang in. We do this a day at a time.
